A Bit of Whitter For Ya.

There was a bit of an accident down the Rabbit Hole. Our great and benevolent Queen, rather squiffy after an evening of quaffing margaritas, tripped up on her way from the royal throne to the …um … other "royal throne" and bumped rather clumsily into Norman, the Royal Executioner and Baseball Bat Wielder, who lost his grip on his ax.

You'll be relieved to know it was quick. Janey, Queen of Hearts shall be missed by all, just as soon as kingdomwide celebration mourning is over. In about 10 years or so. Her rule was torturously long but in the end her coffin was quite short.

The upside is that whinging is very much back on the agenda. Whine away folks! Whine away!

OK then - I'll go first! Since I fell prey to the dreaded lurgi in December I've not really been myself. Obviously the whole back saga has been aired here already so the update on that is that the chiropractor sessions are helping enormously but then I go to my job where the average height of the clientelle is three feet and the furniture is about 18 inches off the floor. The upshot was that I kept undoing all the good of the back cracking by hobnobbing with the elves. So finally I had to face the fact that I was going to have to stay off work to get better. My resistance to this piece of common sense is because it's really hard to manage in a school when staff are absent. Teaching and special needs assistants like myself, don't get covered. The class just has to do without which places an extra burden on the, already over-worked, other members of staff. However it was clear to me that I wasn't going to get better as long as I kept going into work so I packed myself off to the GP yesterday. I'm now off on the doctor's orders for a minimum of a week, although she reckons that 10 days is a fairly conservative estimate. While I was there I mentioned this annoying cough I've had since mid December that only seems to bother me in the evening. Having had a quick check and answering a pile of questions it was established that I was running a temperature of about 100ºF and that nasally feeling I had is because I had a sinus infection. For the last 6 weeks. Now I will admit that I've been unusually warm recently, given that I normally have the core temperature of the Snow Queen, but actually that's been quite nice. I do realise that I've been a bit off but it's amazing how you get used to it. One day in to the antibiotics and I actually feel a whole lot more chipper. My hands are freezing again though. Still it's a small price to pay for being able to breathe again.

So on my first day off work I walked the dog twice (not only OK but recommended for back probs) and I started a new short story. My public humiliation challenge is doing well too (see top right) so all in all I'm a happy little Janey.

Rabbit Hole Day

Today is the birthday of Lewis Carroll and in his honour many of us around the blogsphere are taking part in Rabbit Hole Day. The idea is that you write a blog post that you wouldn't normally consider - something that's sort of the opposite of you. Fairyhedgehog started the ball rolling by suggesting it, although technically the first ball roller was Sarah Laurenson who disappeared down the rabbit hole today and popped up 10 days ago. Anything can happen down the rabbit hole. McKoala is showing off her Dutch and I'm sure that as the day progresses there will be further additions to the list. Myself? Well for one day only I have donned an appalling superiority complex, and become the Queen of Hearts. What can I say except "Off with your heads!"

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MINIONS!

BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! GROVEL AT MY FEET! (not too close I hate anyone touching the royal tootsies).
I, YOUR QUEEN, AND BENEVOLENT RULER (when I can be bothered), DO ISSUE A DECREE TO ALL THAT YOUR POINTLESS WHINING WILL STOP FORTHWITH (or is that width? - I can never remember). FOR FAR TOO LONG NOW I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOUR GRIPES: "OOH IT'S ALL DARK AND COLD! MY LIFE IS WALL TO WALL VOMIT! POO, WHO WILL REPRESENT ME? EDITING'S SO HARD! MY BACK HURTS AND MY HUBBY'S IN THE MIDDLE EAST (oh - that was me …um, one … ignore that last bit. I can be as whingy as I like - perk of the job). EVERYTHING SUCKS! SUCKY SUCK SUCKS!"

OF COURSE IT DOES! YOU'RE BLOODY MINIONS. IT IS YOUR JOB TO HAVE A SUCKY LIFE SO I CAN FEEL SUPERIOR. OTHERWISE WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT OF BEING ME? LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT ONCE AND FOR ALL - YOUR ONLY FUNCTION IS TO ENTERTAIN ME! ME! ME! ME! (doesn't that have a lovely ring to it?) ME!

AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LIVES EITHER. YOUR TRIALS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS ARE BUT INTERFERENCE - STATIC ON THE CHANNEL. NO! WHAT I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IS … ME. HOW LOVELY I AM, HOW KIND, HOW MODEST AND SELF-EFFACING - (you know the sort of thing I mean - it's no fun if I have to spell it out for you) - AND I WANT IT TO BE SPONTANEOUS AND FROM THE HEART. YOU HAVE TO MEAN IT (seriously - I've made it law). I WANT MY SYCOPHANTS TO BE HONEST TO GOODNESS JANEYLOVERS OR YOU MIGHT JUST FIND THAT YOUR COLLECTIVE HEADS WILL BE HAVING A SERIOUS FALLING OUT WITH YOUR COLLECTIVE SHOULDERS.

CAPICE?

OH AND BRING ME CAKE! I WANT CAKE AVAILABLE AT ALL TIMES. AND TEA. TEA SHOULD BE BROUGHT TO ME ANY TIME I FANCY IT (and you should just know when that is - I shouldn't have to go around telling you) EXCEPT WHEN I WANT A MARGARITA (coz if you bring me tea when I'm in the mood for a fiesta - let's just say that you're going to be needing a very short coffin) . AND MAKE SURE YOU FILL THE GLASS UP TO THE SALT LINE. OH AND ..UM.. LEAVE THE PITCHER!

UNDERSTAND I DO THIS TO GIVE YOUR PATHETIC LIVES PURPOSE. YOU WILL BE HAPPIER! (of course that's an order - do I look like I'm talking here for my health?)

I DEMAND ASK SO LITTLE. JUST YOUR COMPLETE SERVITUDE. SO DON'T DISAPPOINT ME.

I'm Up For Some Public Humiliation

McKoala has issued a challenge to keep the writing output levels at a steady and consistent pace. She has kindly referred to it as The Public Humiliation Challenge. The aim is to work on at least 100 words a day, six days a week. This can take the form of writing (blog posts don't count), editing, plotting and planning (as long as it's on paper or screen - thinking about it doesn't cut ice with the Koala) - basically the rules are here. Then you have to post a description of the work carried out and the word count achieved (or revised) either on your own blog or on whatever post is current on McK's. She has lovely badges to reward or punish you for your progress or lack thereof. The wrath of the Koala Claw is to be avoided.

So a minimum of 600 words a week will completely cover my obligation of 1000 words a month in Aerin's Challenge. I'm hoping that after a short while I'll get back into the rhythm of writing again every day.

I'd better get on with it I guess or the cute little marsupial will go all ninja on me.

This is a bit like being back at school again. Who wants to hang out around the bike shed to goss about who fancies whom?

**Late addition**
You can follow my progress at the top right hand corner of my blog. I will update the word count each day giving you the count for that day and the accumulated count.

She Moves!

I finally got my ass to a chiropractor today. I realized that this problem wasn't fixing itself with rest. Well - that statement is untrue - when I could rest it, there was a definite improvement in symptoms but who the hell can rest with a job, a dog, three kids and a house to run? (I left Hubby out of that list because he's brilliant at helping out and can completely sort himself out, which he's been doing). The biggest problem has been work because of all the diddy furniture and the bending down involved. Any good gained from taking it easy at home was completely undone in three hours of working with 4-5 year-olds. And anyway, even when the pain eased up through rest, I still wasn't sorting out the actual problem.

Basically my neck is banjaxed and a different problem with my pelvis has caused my lower back to seize up. Two vertebrae in the base of my neck are out of place. This is causing serious restrictions in movement and trapping nerves which in turn are causing problems with using my arm. It's also the reason for an increased number of headaches I've been getting. My chiropractor was brilliant; she was very calm, very good at explaining everything and I was putty in her hands. Honestly she was so relaxing that I didn't even flinch when she said to me:

"So for this next bit I'm just going to use a little gun to ease the pressure along your spine."

She then added it was nothing to be worried about and that it sounded a lot scarier than it actually was. It was only at that point did I realise what she'd actually said. I think if she'd told be to run barefoot over hot coals I'd have gone along with it.

So after ONE three-quarter hour session I walked out feeling light as air. I am now able to put on my own shoes and I even ran up the stairs. God bless chiropractors! And why in the name of all that's holy can't they be on the NHS? This was one session and I feel so much relief I can't tell you. By the time I've finished the treatment I'll be poorer, sure, but I won't have missed any work, I won't have needed the kind of strong painkillers my GP would have put me on and I'll have cured the cause of the problem. Had I let this go on I have no doubt that I would've ended up with a slipped disc or something, thereby costing the National Health System (NHS) and my employers a lot more. But the medical profession continues to view alternative therapies, such as this, as quackery which is why thousands of people who could be helped, but who haven't go the means to seek private therapy, languish at home in chronic pain. I'm sure that this costs the National Health System more in the end.

I will now bound off my soapbox - because I can.

Oh Yea! Oh Yea! Oh Yea!

Ring it out guys! Great news filtering through from The Clarity of Night Ascension Contest. Our great blogging buddy Pete Dudley has pipped 124 other entries to take the top prize. His entry, Sliding, was wonderful. Jason's nose for talent is fairly spot on and several previous winners have gone on to become published. I wish all the same fantastic fortune to Pete. Congrats mate.

But Pete isn't the only one celebrating because amongst the honorable mentions (I say again there were 125 entries people) were none other than the wonderful Aerin, McKoala, Laughing Wolf, Precie and … li'l ol' me! I'm all aflutter. In the words of the inimitable Bruce Forsyth; Didn't we do well?

I'm still on a go slow due to the continuing embuggerment of my stupid back (I've been all but bed-ridden the last two days but I've made myself move around and it looks like it's getting better now). However I'm so psyched now I feel like I could … urm … go downstairs and make some tea!

YEAY!

Excuses! Excuses!

*WARNING: This post contains an unusually high level of whining*


Well look who's reared her ugly mug. It's only me. Have I been lost for a week? Has there been a terrible emergency? Nope. I just needed a break. Sometimes this bloggy life can kind of take over and my reaction is to take a step back and try to redress the balance.

Hubby's been away all week. When he goes on business trips I find I have a bit of trouble getting enough sleep. Normally nothing keeps me from my bed and I sleep deep and long, but when Hubby is away I find it very hard to get enough rest. I guess I feel like I'm on call - 24 hour duty. I sleep so deeply normally, that I get stressed that I won't wake early enough to get everyone up and out in the morning. Big Son and Daughter have to be on a bus at 8am and I have to be back from taking the Pooch out by then. So I find it hard to fall asleep at night and then wake up every hour to check the time. On top of that work's got more intense since returning after the Christmas break. I guess I'm just tired. Really tired. I also buggered up my neck and shoulder over Christmas and I had a bit of trouble typing as my right arm was pretty useless. There were also a shed-load of kids and school-related things I had to do. It was one busy week and I couldn't get my head into the blog thing at all and as each day went by and I got further and further behind, I felt overwhelmed by it all. I know I owe a few emails, I have a g'squillion blogs to catch up on and (last time I checked) 17 comments to answer in my own blog so I'm going to beg a little indulgence and just say that I shall try to get round to them all in the next few days.

I think it's fair to say that this will happen from time to time. I'll overdose on the blogsphere and then I need a bit of a break to dry out. Just think of it as the natural rhythm of things. Hubby came back last night and I had my best night sleep in a week. The rest and painkillers have helped my neck/shoulder problem greatly and for once in my life I'm actually on top of the laundry so hopefully I'll be back on track again soon.

Thanks for being an understanding lot.

Weekly Roundup and News Items.

Would you look at that - it's been a whole week since I last posted. A WEEK! It was the back to school/work week though so I've had to adjust back to a schedule. On Monday was my first day back at work. My older children had left for school at 8am and at 8.45 as I was leaving, Hubby was playing on the Wii with Small Son who wasn't due back to school till the following day. Or so I thought. As I was getting into my car I noticed a lot of cars parked at the end of my road with small children in uniforms getting out of them. You have never seen anyone move so fast.

"Quick! Hubby! Small Son has school. You get him dressed! I'll make his lunch."

There was, what amounted to, a mini-tornado in my house as my poor little son was de-jammied, uniformed, toothbrushed, hairbrushed, coated and shoed in the space of about five minutes. He ended up only being a couple of minutes late. I, on the other hand, arrived at my meeting 15 minutes late. Still I felt that it was an achievement and Small Son couldn't have been happier to be back. He adores his school.

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The weather's been unrecognizably arctic for the UK. Personally I've loved its crispness and clarity but even I have to admit that we could have picked a better week to run out of heating oil. Let's just say that sleeping involved wearing lots of fleecy layers. We looked like we were going out instead of going to bed. We realised just before New Year that we were running dangerously low and so have been doing our best to conserve what little we had. But we ran out before the delivery. Almost two weeks after we'd ordered it the oil turned up. We only had a day and a half without heat but man! it was c-c-c-c-c-cold.

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I've been percolating a plan over the week. I'm ruddy sick of my own inaction in the writing department so I've decided to take on Aerin's writing challenge. Check it out. It's designed to get you writing and keep you writing. You only need to do a 1000 words a month and you don't have to publish what you've written if you don't want to but you do have to post that you have met the challenge. Go to Aerin's she explains it all better than I do. Anyhoo to get the ball rolling she said that if you entered Jason's latest contest at Clarity of Night those 250 words could count as your whole January total. That's a 4 for 1 deal. And Jason's contests are great fun. So I've done that. Although this kind of writing is out of my comfort zone (I prefer to write children's/ YA stuff) I did give it a shot because it's good practice. Isn't it?

If you are up to a little challenge then do sign up. If a 1000 words sounds daunting then why not try out this site which the utterly wonderful Fairyhedgehog blogged about recently called onetwofiver. It's designed to get you past the block of being able to put word to paper. To start off all you have to do is write one word. Just one. Then two words. Then five. Then ten. Twenty. Fifty. One hundred. Two hundred. Then finally five hundred. Before you know it you've written 888 words which is practically your In Search of Giants Challenge. Then this website will email your writing to you as one document. I've tried it and it really is helpful.

Aerin is working on a blog for the challenge and it's looking pretty awesome. Oh and I nearly forgot to mention - there are PRIZES! Isn't Aerin just fab for doing that? Now scooch over and check it out and if you can, do join up because, quite frankly, I need the encouragement.

10 Honest Things Meme

I've been tagged by the lovely and wonderful Cindy Pon (whose novel, Silver Phoenix, will be in all good bookstores from April 28th, '09) to write ten honest facts about myself. Being Catholic I immediately thought this was an exercise in confession and started to panic. However having read both Cindy's and Natalie's I've calmed down and all my dirty little secrets (filthy things, secrets) will remain between me and .. um .. me.

1. I fully subscribe to the notion of nightwear as daywear. I will always remain in my jammies as long as is humanly possible.

2. I have no tolerance for alcohol and if I didn't like that odd glass of wine or beer (or margaritas) I would happily give it up.

3. I love cheese. Good cheese - not the plastic rubbish they sell in single slices - the stinky stuff. Yum.

4. I am a total optimist. I get very bored by doom and gloom mongers. I wasn't always like this; in my late teens I was in a negative tailspin. One day I got bored with it so I trained myself to look in the bright side.

5. I think I have known my husband for many lifetimes.

6. I believe that all experiences are learning opportunities.

7. It takes me a good twenty minutes to wake up in the morning during which I shouldn't be approached or spoken too. It's not that I'll be mean or anything, (well not always), I just need that time to put myself in the right frame of mind for the day.

8. When I change my bed linen I must be the first to get into bed to try them. It's the law.

9. I laugh at inappropriate times. I can't help it. When there's tension about I think funny things. My sense of humour can be very dark indeed.

10. I still haven't sent my Christmas cards. I think I may have missed the boat on that one.

I tag no-one in particular but I would be happy as a honey bee in a meadow if you decide to do it too.