In order to cure you of the pain I inflicted with my Eurovision post have a look at this. I just thought he was brilliant.
Watch for how little Segen Max recovers after he drops his drumstick at 2.10(ish). This video was apparently taken at the little fella's 2nd birthday. Dad's on the big bass drum but the kiddie does all the rest!
A little relief from the Eurotrash!
***************************************************************************
Very Important Notice
Ello is hosting a very important Author Event on her blog. Her guest is Dr Gigi Durham author of The Lolita Effect, The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What we can Do About It, (published by Overlook Press). You can leave a question in the comments section or just follow the thread. It should be fascinating.
Wednesday, 28 May 2008
Tuesday, 27 May 2008
A Brief Lesson in Eurovision
Ok Saturday was the kitsch highlight of the year with the airing of the 53rd Eurovision Song Contest. A competition to find the best song in Europe (and apparently Israel - no idea why). Each country hosts a competition to find the best original song, for a given year, to represent them in this annual Fiesta. Unfortunately it kind of had its heyday in the 70's when its most famous winner, Abba, won with Waterloo. In '88 Celine Dion even won it with an entry in French for Switzerland. In those days each country had a jury of 12 music officianados who actually listened to each entry and voted on the merits of the music. Since then, due to escalating costs, it has been thrown open to the public to televote for the most popular, rather than the best, entry. The fall of the Wall and the admission of eastern block countries has taken a lot from the earnestness of the competition (it was there once - I remember) as all the eastern block countries vote for each other now and the best song very rarely gets a look in. Certainly the countries of western Europe haven't a hope. That said the top 5 were all reasonable songs but there were a LOT of very silly songs too!
However, as extremely silly as it's all become, it's still worth a watch as 25 counties try to outdo each other in spectacle. It's long since been worked out by quite a few Eastern block countries that to catch the votes - you gotta get a gimmick!
This is the Latvian entry for this year. I chose this one as an example because I actually laughed out loud in the middle of it. Watch out in the second (possibly?) verse when chief Pirate waves his cutlas with menace!
This is Pirates of The Sea - Wolves of the Sea the 2008 Latvian entry to Eurovision (not Panto in case you were wondering) - Seriously! This came 12th!
As the Last "Tenku Yoroop!" was heard my hubby T, leaned over to me and said,
"D'you know - I'm not entirely sure those were real Pirates!"
Anyway this was the UK entry - it came last. Judge for yourselves which is the better song!
This is Andy Abraham - Even If.
Apologies for the quality - blame YouTube!
However, as extremely silly as it's all become, it's still worth a watch as 25 counties try to outdo each other in spectacle. It's long since been worked out by quite a few Eastern block countries that to catch the votes - you gotta get a gimmick!
This is the Latvian entry for this year. I chose this one as an example because I actually laughed out loud in the middle of it. Watch out in the second (possibly?) verse when chief Pirate waves his cutlas with menace!
This is Pirates of The Sea - Wolves of the Sea the 2008 Latvian entry to Eurovision (not Panto in case you were wondering) - Seriously! This came 12th!
As the Last "Tenku Yoroop!" was heard my hubby T, leaned over to me and said,
"D'you know - I'm not entirely sure those were real Pirates!"
Anyway this was the UK entry - it came last. Judge for yourselves which is the better song!
This is Andy Abraham - Even If.
Apologies for the quality - blame YouTube!
Monday, 26 May 2008
May Book Contest #3
Precie's at it again! And I can't resist a contest where the winner is drawn out of a hat - it significantly increases my chances!
So here's the info:
This week's theme: Novelty
This week's contest assignment: Make of this week's theme what you will. 500 words max.
Deadline: Monday, May 26 at 11 pm Eastern
So here's my effort - sorry no wee-wee this time.
Novelty
Her footsteps echoed as she walked in her flip-flops down the tiled entrance hall to the kitchen. A brief scan showed her that it was exactly as she’d left it going to bed the night before. Pristine. The tea towel she’d unfurled from the drawer, hung unstained on the rail next to the sink and the dishcloth she’d rinsed in bleach after dinner the previous evening had no chocolate powder caked onto it. Walking across to get the kettle from the stove, the ceramic floor did not crunch from discarded crumbs and her feet did not stick to orange juice poured with too much vigour from the carton.
She breathed deeply filling her lungs with peace and quiet before exhaling a loud sigh and filling the kettle to make the first cup of tea of the day. Her brew in hand she wandered to the office, cranked up her MAC and sat down to write undisturbed for the first time in twelve years.
Two Chapters left. Tie up loose ends. Resolve crises. Happy ever after? Maybe..... but then it would be done. Her dearest friend of many, many months would evolve into something else – a creature in need of criticism, of judgement. It had already grown beyond its pot, becoming straggly. The fierce bloom it developed began to discolour because she’d let it grow uncontrolled. It cried out to be pruned. She just needed a conclusion.
Two more chapters.
The blank page that loaded on her screen pulsed expressionless begging for purpose. Staring forward she placed her fingers on the keyboard and felt around until she located the bump on the F key with her left index and the J key with her right. The notes she made the evening before were long forgotten as she depressed the keys slowly, deliberately, forming words, dragging them into order, permeating the page with meaning. The tea lost its heat and the morning dragged on till noon as she pressed on.
There was no smile when at last she turned her computer off. No sense of relief or joy. She picked up the bag in the hall and headed straight to her car, pausing only to pick up her mobile phone and turn it on. As she sat into her car it began to ring.
“Hey Babe! Yeah - just put it to bed. Happy? Am I ever? The edit’s going to be a killer.” She swapped ears to free her right hand to turn the ignition. “Thanks for taking the kids away and giving me the space to get on with it. It’s been bloody quiet. Yes I know, I know that’s what I asked for and I needed it. I really did! But I’m looking forward to seeing you guys again. I’m not waiting for Thursday, I’m on my way to join you - I’ll be there in two or three hours. Yeah the quiet was nice at first but let’s just say . . . the novelty wore off.”
So here's the info:
This week's theme: Novelty
This week's contest assignment: Make of this week's theme what you will. 500 words max.
Deadline: Monday, May 26 at 11 pm Eastern
So here's my effort - sorry no wee-wee this time.
Novelty
Her footsteps echoed as she walked in her flip-flops down the tiled entrance hall to the kitchen. A brief scan showed her that it was exactly as she’d left it going to bed the night before. Pristine. The tea towel she’d unfurled from the drawer, hung unstained on the rail next to the sink and the dishcloth she’d rinsed in bleach after dinner the previous evening had no chocolate powder caked onto it. Walking across to get the kettle from the stove, the ceramic floor did not crunch from discarded crumbs and her feet did not stick to orange juice poured with too much vigour from the carton.
She breathed deeply filling her lungs with peace and quiet before exhaling a loud sigh and filling the kettle to make the first cup of tea of the day. Her brew in hand she wandered to the office, cranked up her MAC and sat down to write undisturbed for the first time in twelve years.
Two Chapters left. Tie up loose ends. Resolve crises. Happy ever after? Maybe..... but then it would be done. Her dearest friend of many, many months would evolve into something else – a creature in need of criticism, of judgement. It had already grown beyond its pot, becoming straggly. The fierce bloom it developed began to discolour because she’d let it grow uncontrolled. It cried out to be pruned. She just needed a conclusion.
Two more chapters.
The blank page that loaded on her screen pulsed expressionless begging for purpose. Staring forward she placed her fingers on the keyboard and felt around until she located the bump on the F key with her left index and the J key with her right. The notes she made the evening before were long forgotten as she depressed the keys slowly, deliberately, forming words, dragging them into order, permeating the page with meaning. The tea lost its heat and the morning dragged on till noon as she pressed on.
There was no smile when at last she turned her computer off. No sense of relief or joy. She picked up the bag in the hall and headed straight to her car, pausing only to pick up her mobile phone and turn it on. As she sat into her car it began to ring.
“Hey Babe! Yeah - just put it to bed. Happy? Am I ever? The edit’s going to be a killer.” She swapped ears to free her right hand to turn the ignition. “Thanks for taking the kids away and giving me the space to get on with it. It’s been bloody quiet. Yes I know, I know that’s what I asked for and I needed it. I really did! But I’m looking forward to seeing you guys again. I’m not waiting for Thursday, I’m on my way to join you - I’ll be there in two or three hours. Yeah the quiet was nice at first but let’s just say . . . the novelty wore off.”
Friday, 23 May 2008
He Knows What He's Talking About Sam-I-Am
You know that feeling when your small son's been playing with his Dr Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham CD-Rom and you're hungry? And maybe you're feeling a little bit (hormonally) attracted to food you'd normally cross the street to avoid (whilst making the sign of the cross, throwing salt over your shoulder and studiously avoiding cracks in the pavement)? And you think (bizarrely) that nothing else in the world would make you feel better than . . . say. . . a fried egg and ham sandwich on toasted bread? And it takes only three minutes to prepare and it's really not too bad for you because you only used a spot of olive oil on the pan to fry the egg and anyway it was extra virgin and organic and aren't they saying eggs are good for you again? And then you cut the sandwich in half and it didn't spill yellow gunk everywhere and it really tasted gooooood! So you forgot to be really careful biting into the second half and it exploded in a volcanic yolky mess all over you, your hair, hands and clothes?Do you know that feeling?
I do.
Monday, 19 May 2008
To Do or Not To Do.........
Hamlet was a big ass one but if he hadn't been the play would've been over in the first act and then the body count wouldn't have been nearly so high. He'd probably have married Ophelia and I'm guessing she wouldn't have gone swimming in her dangerously heavy dress because he'd probably wouldn't have called her a floozy and stabbed her Daddy in the arras.What am I whittering on about? Procrastination! Hamlet's tragic flaw. He just kept putting off the avenging King Daddy Hamlet's murder and it resulted in a bloodbath. There are some who might argue that Shakespeare was merely telling the world to pull their finger out and get on with it already. And perhaps he was, because judging by all the meme's I read last week, procrastination is by far in away the most popular "bad habit" out there! There's a sickness about of putting things off to the last possible minute.
But as Dr Pepper often asks "What's the worst that can happen?" Uuum - well it didn't turn out so well for Hamlet but that's just fiction right? Right???
Is it really such a bad thing to put stuff off? I mean if I did everything I was supposed to do in a given day, straight away, I'd be far too knackered to sit down and type away at my wee bloggie. So as I doggedly ignore the pile of laundry, the carpet covered in the Pooch's moulting coat, the stack of dishes that are precariously balanced on the countertop because I still haven't emptied the dishwasher from last night, the bed-clothes that need washing, the mud on the kitchen floor, the finances that need addressing, the job application I'm avoiding, the letters I have to write urgently and the dinner that needs preparing I can honestly say that I've had a great day doing my writing course and visiting my favourite blogs.
Thing is - I don't know where to start on the other stuff. I think I'll put the kettle on.
Friday, 16 May 2008
Various Things Meme
I've looked it up in Wikipedia and I still don't get what a meme is. Well I do understand the words - it's the vagueness of the concept I have the problem with. Anyway Wiki says
So it's like an evolving chain letter? [shrugs and looks confused] Anyhoo I've been tagged again by Aerin (Thank you Honey - I was searching for something to blog about ;0)) So here goes......
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.
A Meme about Various Things
What were you doing ten years ago?
May 1998? Hmmm well I think I was just enjoying domestic bliss really. My eldest son (who is now nearly 6' tall) was a cute little 3-and-a-half-year-old who was at pre-school and hating it and my daughter was 11 months old and on the cusp of taking her first steps unaided (she did it at a barbeque on May 30th 1998). I'd finally made friends in my neighbourhood and I remember being really happy.
Oh and I had lop-sided boobies because Child #2 was still breastfeeding but would only feed from the lefty!
What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order):
1. At some point I will get dressed.
2. Start laundry
3.Walk doggie
4. Go to friends house for tea and a chat.
5. I've promised a trip to McDonald's to Child #2 because she's being doing the state-sponsored child abuse for 11(ish) year olds called SATS all week. Poor Sausage.
What are some snacks you enjoy?
1. As a total carbohydrate junkie I'd have to say Crisps (For those of you who are American that's what we call Chips. Chips are what we call Fries - clear?)
2. Dark chocolate - actually I like any kind of chocolate (except white - because it's NOT chocolate) - but I Lurve the dark bitter stuff the best.
3. Fruit juice ice lollies (popsicles) when it's hot!
Yup that's pretty much it really. I mean I like healthy stuff like fruit and salad etc but when I need a snack - I'm generally seeking a sugar buzz. (And I wonder why I'm a chubby little paddy).
What would you do if you were a billionaire?
Oooh I like this one because I think about this lots and lots. Well I think about being a millionaire actually because a million pounds is quite enough for anyone! And that's the thing isn't it - to decide which currency to fantasise in. Well I'm in England so I'm choosing the GBR£. So I have to think about a billion quid? . . . . Oh well . . if I must!
First things first - pay off the mortgage and as I'm a billionaire I'd pay off the mortgages of my family and my close friends. (If I was only a millionaire I couldn't do that - houses are bloody expensive and our families are big!). I'd give my Dad and T's Mum the means to live out their retirement in total comfort, doing whatever the hell they fancy - because in your 70's you deserve to kick back and hang the cost! Oh sod it! If I'm a billionaire I could make them all millionaires - that'd only be like £15,000,000 out of £100,000,000. Crikey! A billion quid is a serious amount of dosh!
I would immediately give 10% to Street Child Africa which is a charity we support that seek to better the lives of the millions of homeless children throughout Africa. I think it's an amazing outfit and I only wish we could do more for them (which of course I could if I was a Billionaire!)
So £25,000,000 and some small change down (I CANNOT believe I just called my enormous mortgage small change - good grief) - what to do with the rest?
I guess - being pragmatic I'd put a bit away and invest to keep me in clover for life. I'd really like to see if I could actually invest ethically so that none of my cash supports businesses or regimes that damage this world.
I've had this idea that I'd like to run a fleet of sailing ships to transport Fairtrade goods from poorer countries to the West. I love the idea of state of the art Tall Ships sailing the world helping to fight climate change and oppression. That would make me HUGELY happy!
I would build my dream Eco-house. It would have a wrap-around porch with a swing seat. It would be pale yellow. It would have an open fire. It would be brilliantly insulated, run off a heat exchange pump in the garden, have solar panels for hot water, maybe a small wind turbine on the hill behind the property, it would have it's own self-sustaining woodland and I'd have a clean lake in the grounds for swimming in. For waste - we'd use a reed bed and recycle everything we could. And as I'm stinking rich I'd have my own Organic Farm to produce my own food (I'm crap at growing things so I'd have to employ someone for that) and have a chef to cook it for me. And just because I can I'd buy a timeshare here.
And I'd love to travel. I'd like to go all around the world and soak in the beauty. I'd like to visit old friends and new. And New Zealand would be the first port of call. I'd have to get the doggie a pet passport though because I couldn't leave her at home. And as I'm trying not to add to global warming maybe I'd do it on the first of my Tall Ships. Because I'll be spending some of my time jetting over to Denver to work with Aerin as her associate - I feel I should try to carbon offset as much as I can.
Most of all I would enjoy the freedom of being able to write without concern for making money.
And the Millions left... I'd set up a charitable trust to help make this world a happier place where medical research could be funded without the stranglehold of Pharmaceutical Companies, where people like Angela can find a safe haven and people in crisis can get some help.
Would that take care of my Billion?
What are three of your bad habits?
1. I'm quite lazy
2. I scoff my food instead of savouring it.
3. I burp a lot (see #2)
What are five places where you have lived?
1. Limerick, Ireland
2. Galway, Ireland
3. Breuberg, Neustadt, Germany
4. Acton, London, England
5. Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire, England
What are five jobs you have had?
1. Short order cook at Kook House, Crescent Shopping Centre, Limerick (1981 - 1984)
2. Canning Fruit at Odenwald Konserven, Germany (Summers of 1986, 1987 and 1988)
3. Warehouse technician (testing sound, video and AV equipment for hire for Live Events) for Various Companies 1989- 1992
4. Operations Administrator for Creative Technology (1992- 1994)
5. Childminder (2005 -2007)
What were the last five books you read?
1. His Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman
2. Looking For Alaska by John Green
3. 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson
4. Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut
5. The Accidental Wife by Rowan Coleman
What five people do you want to tag?
Well I'm going to leave it up to you. I would LOVE to read your Various Things Meme so if you fancy doing it just let me know!
(Pete? Jason? Vanilla? Bee? Barrie? Cathy? Rí? T? Low Carbon Kid? Taff?)
A meme (pronounced /miːm/[1]) consists of any unit of cultural information, such as a practice or idea, that gets transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another. Examples include thoughts, ideas, theories, practices, habits, songs, dances and moods and terms such as race, culture, and ethnicity. Memes propagate themselves and can move through a "culture" in a manner similar to the behavior of a virus. As a unit of cultural evolution, a meme in some ways resembles a gene.
So it's like an evolving chain letter? [shrugs and looks confused] Anyhoo I've been tagged again by Aerin (Thank you Honey - I was searching for something to blog about ;0)) So here goes......
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.
A Meme about Various Things
What were you doing ten years ago?
May 1998? Hmmm well I think I was just enjoying domestic bliss really. My eldest son (who is now nearly 6' tall) was a cute little 3-and-a-half-year-old who was at pre-school and hating it and my daughter was 11 months old and on the cusp of taking her first steps unaided (she did it at a barbeque on May 30th 1998). I'd finally made friends in my neighbourhood and I remember being really happy.
Oh and I had lop-sided boobies because Child #2 was still breastfeeding but would only feed from the lefty!
What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order):
1. At some point I will get dressed.
2. Start laundry
3.Walk doggie
4. Go to friends house for tea and a chat.
5. I've promised a trip to McDonald's to Child #2 because she's being doing the state-sponsored child abuse for 11(ish) year olds called SATS all week. Poor Sausage.
What are some snacks you enjoy?
1. As a total carbohydrate junkie I'd have to say Crisps (For those of you who are American that's what we call Chips. Chips are what we call Fries - clear?)
2. Dark chocolate - actually I like any kind of chocolate (except white - because it's NOT chocolate) - but I Lurve the dark bitter stuff the best.
3. Fruit juice ice lollies (popsicles) when it's hot!
Yup that's pretty much it really. I mean I like healthy stuff like fruit and salad etc but when I need a snack - I'm generally seeking a sugar buzz. (And I wonder why I'm a chubby little paddy).
What would you do if you were a billionaire?
Oooh I like this one because I think about this lots and lots. Well I think about being a millionaire actually because a million pounds is quite enough for anyone! And that's the thing isn't it - to decide which currency to fantasise in. Well I'm in England so I'm choosing the GBR£. So I have to think about a billion quid? . . . . Oh well . . if I must!
First things first - pay off the mortgage and as I'm a billionaire I'd pay off the mortgages of my family and my close friends. (If I was only a millionaire I couldn't do that - houses are bloody expensive and our families are big!). I'd give my Dad and T's Mum the means to live out their retirement in total comfort, doing whatever the hell they fancy - because in your 70's you deserve to kick back and hang the cost! Oh sod it! If I'm a billionaire I could make them all millionaires - that'd only be like £15,000,000 out of £100,000,000. Crikey! A billion quid is a serious amount of dosh!
I would immediately give 10% to Street Child Africa which is a charity we support that seek to better the lives of the millions of homeless children throughout Africa. I think it's an amazing outfit and I only wish we could do more for them (which of course I could if I was a Billionaire!)
So £25,000,000 and some small change down (I CANNOT believe I just called my enormous mortgage small change - good grief) - what to do with the rest?
I guess - being pragmatic I'd put a bit away and invest to keep me in clover for life. I'd really like to see if I could actually invest ethically so that none of my cash supports businesses or regimes that damage this world.
I've had this idea that I'd like to run a fleet of sailing ships to transport Fairtrade goods from poorer countries to the West. I love the idea of state of the art Tall Ships sailing the world helping to fight climate change and oppression. That would make me HUGELY happy!
I would build my dream Eco-house. It would have a wrap-around porch with a swing seat. It would be pale yellow. It would have an open fire. It would be brilliantly insulated, run off a heat exchange pump in the garden, have solar panels for hot water, maybe a small wind turbine on the hill behind the property, it would have it's own self-sustaining woodland and I'd have a clean lake in the grounds for swimming in. For waste - we'd use a reed bed and recycle everything we could. And as I'm stinking rich I'd have my own Organic Farm to produce my own food (I'm crap at growing things so I'd have to employ someone for that) and have a chef to cook it for me. And just because I can I'd buy a timeshare here.
And I'd love to travel. I'd like to go all around the world and soak in the beauty. I'd like to visit old friends and new. And New Zealand would be the first port of call. I'd have to get the doggie a pet passport though because I couldn't leave her at home. And as I'm trying not to add to global warming maybe I'd do it on the first of my Tall Ships. Because I'll be spending some of my time jetting over to Denver to work with Aerin as her associate - I feel I should try to carbon offset as much as I can.
Most of all I would enjoy the freedom of being able to write without concern for making money.
And the Millions left... I'd set up a charitable trust to help make this world a happier place where medical research could be funded without the stranglehold of Pharmaceutical Companies, where people like Angela can find a safe haven and people in crisis can get some help.
Would that take care of my Billion?
What are three of your bad habits?
1. I'm quite lazy
2. I scoff my food instead of savouring it.
3. I burp a lot (see #2)
What are five places where you have lived?
1. Limerick, Ireland
2. Galway, Ireland
3. Breuberg, Neustadt, Germany
4. Acton, London, England
5. Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire, England
What are five jobs you have had?
1. Short order cook at Kook House, Crescent Shopping Centre, Limerick (1981 - 1984)
2. Canning Fruit at Odenwald Konserven, Germany (Summers of 1986, 1987 and 1988)
3. Warehouse technician (testing sound, video and AV equipment for hire for Live Events) for Various Companies 1989- 1992
4. Operations Administrator for Creative Technology (1992- 1994)
5. Childminder (2005 -2007)
What were the last five books you read?
1. His Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman
2. Looking For Alaska by John Green
3. 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson
4. Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut
5. The Accidental Wife by Rowan Coleman
What five people do you want to tag?
Well I'm going to leave it up to you. I would LOVE to read your Various Things Meme so if you fancy doing it just let me know!
(Pete? Jason? Vanilla? Bee? Barrie? Cathy? Rí? T? Low Carbon Kid? Taff?)
Thursday, 15 May 2008
Scary Face! Scary Face!
Yesterday I actually started to enjoy my writing course. We had to critique each other's work. I was a bit hesitant to do this as I have a hard time knowing what to say if I don't like something - mostly because I often don't know why I don't like it. It's a gut thing. So actually having to assess 'why' was a very useful exercise. I learned a lot in the analysis. One of the things I learned was why it is that submissions have to be typed double spaced - it is so hard to read a piece that's all squished on top of itself! And why grammar and punctuation are really important. It really ruins the flow of a good piece if it's not structured correctly. I tell you I have new respect for editors.
So I was merrily engaging with it all when Lovely Child #1 made me a cup of tea. I like a good Cuppa - it is my shot in the arm while I write. And endless tea supply is a necessity (as is the downstairs bathroom being 8' from my desk - tea's a diuretic) so it was with pride at my son's thoughtfulness that I took my lovely cuppa cha and popped it down next to me.
"Thank you Honey," I say as I go back to pondering how I could write an original and interesting sentence using the word 'mug'. I'm giving it my full attention when I managed, with an astonishing level of pure klutziness to knock over my own mug and spill its contents directly and fully into my keyboard.
"SHIT! SHIT! #1 get a cloth NOW!" I scream as I turned the keyboard upsidedown to get as much of the offending liquid out as possible. Child #1 unfortunately had headphones on and was conducting warfare (HALO3) on XBox Live and despite my yelling with bloodcurdling ferocity, he ignored me. Then he saw my demonic glare out of the corner of his eye and went into full panic mode. My scary face is terrifying. I know this because I have once or twice caught my reflection whilst in full Mommy Meltdown and I nearly pooped my pants. I look just like my own mother. That's scary! Let's be clear that I don't mean to scare the bejasus out of anyone but 'The Face' does not respect my intentions or feelings. 'The Face' is an independent force of nature and it's only function is to paralyse with fear. In short, instead of inspiring people into action as I'd really like, I have a tendency to achieve the opposite.
"What? Huh? How?" My oldest child is now hopping around trying to rip off his headphones so he can figure out what he did wrong... Oh yeah - 'The Face' has the added feature of instilling deep guilt into the most innocent of beings.
"Cloth quick! I spilled my tea and I can't put the keyboard down. Hurry! And kitchen roll! I need kitchen roll."
#1 Child then runs into kitchen and comes back a split-second later with a dish-cloth he has obviously removed form a bowl of dishwater and 2 squares of kitchen roll. The dripping cloth was already adding to the puddle that was, by now, starting to pour off the desk. The withering "good grief" look I give #1 sends the poor fella into a spiral of panic as he grabs the cloth back, spattering me, the furniture and the computer screen in the process and runs back to the kitchen. I dam the tea waterfall with the 2 bits of kitchen roll.
"Get a DRY cloth and the ENTIRE kitchen roll!" I remind myself for the umpteenth time to 'be specific' when giving orders. It doesn't help that I'm not known for remaining calm. I'm more given to flapping my arms around the place shouting "Don't Panic!" in times of emergency. I think I need to work out how to manage me, 'The Face' and the reaction of others to said 'Face' in order to achieve effective emergency procedures. I'm kinda rubbish at it right now. But I really don't mean it.
"Sorry for yelling," I say as #1 brings back the required mopping-up agents, "just trying to get your attention. Thanks for helping." And I feel bad that my poor Big Son looks relieved. He then goes back to his important game of murder and mayhem. At least that's what I think he's doing - there's an awful lot of shooting involved. And the look of calm returns to his face.
I clean the offending liquid up in double quick time and I set to work with pointy bits of kitchen roll between the keys trying to dry the thing out. That's when I realise that I drop a lot more crumbs when eating toast at the computer than I originally thought. It's not pretty. But I think I get it sorted.
I'm in need of light relief now so I head over to Precie's blog and I'm checking to see of anyone else has posted for the Playtime Contest and see that Blogless Troll has entered too so I click there. BT's entry is a brilliant Love Poem which made me laugh out loud. So I thought I'd leave a comment to show my appreciation.
That'swhenIrealisedthatthekeyboardhadn'tcomeoutofitssoakingunharmed.Thespacebarhadstoppedworking!
This one is the spare!
So I was merrily engaging with it all when Lovely Child #1 made me a cup of tea. I like a good Cuppa - it is my shot in the arm while I write. And endless tea supply is a necessity (as is the downstairs bathroom being 8' from my desk - tea's a diuretic) so it was with pride at my son's thoughtfulness that I took my lovely cuppa cha and popped it down next to me.
"Thank you Honey," I say as I go back to pondering how I could write an original and interesting sentence using the word 'mug'. I'm giving it my full attention when I managed, with an astonishing level of pure klutziness to knock over my own mug and spill its contents directly and fully into my keyboard.
"SHIT! SHIT! #1 get a cloth NOW!" I scream as I turned the keyboard upsidedown to get as much of the offending liquid out as possible. Child #1 unfortunately had headphones on and was conducting warfare (HALO3) on XBox Live and despite my yelling with bloodcurdling ferocity, he ignored me. Then he saw my demonic glare out of the corner of his eye and went into full panic mode. My scary face is terrifying. I know this because I have once or twice caught my reflection whilst in full Mommy Meltdown and I nearly pooped my pants. I look just like my own mother. That's scary! Let's be clear that I don't mean to scare the bejasus out of anyone but 'The Face' does not respect my intentions or feelings. 'The Face' is an independent force of nature and it's only function is to paralyse with fear. In short, instead of inspiring people into action as I'd really like, I have a tendency to achieve the opposite.
"What? Huh? How?" My oldest child is now hopping around trying to rip off his headphones so he can figure out what he did wrong... Oh yeah - 'The Face' has the added feature of instilling deep guilt into the most innocent of beings.
"Cloth quick! I spilled my tea and I can't put the keyboard down. Hurry! And kitchen roll! I need kitchen roll."
#1 Child then runs into kitchen and comes back a split-second later with a dish-cloth he has obviously removed form a bowl of dishwater and 2 squares of kitchen roll. The dripping cloth was already adding to the puddle that was, by now, starting to pour off the desk. The withering "good grief" look I give #1 sends the poor fella into a spiral of panic as he grabs the cloth back, spattering me, the furniture and the computer screen in the process and runs back to the kitchen. I dam the tea waterfall with the 2 bits of kitchen roll.
"Get a DRY cloth and the ENTIRE kitchen roll!" I remind myself for the umpteenth time to 'be specific' when giving orders. It doesn't help that I'm not known for remaining calm. I'm more given to flapping my arms around the place shouting "Don't Panic!" in times of emergency. I think I need to work out how to manage me, 'The Face' and the reaction of others to said 'Face' in order to achieve effective emergency procedures. I'm kinda rubbish at it right now. But I really don't mean it.
"Sorry for yelling," I say as #1 brings back the required mopping-up agents, "just trying to get your attention. Thanks for helping." And I feel bad that my poor Big Son looks relieved. He then goes back to his important game of murder and mayhem. At least that's what I think he's doing - there's an awful lot of shooting involved. And the look of calm returns to his face.
I clean the offending liquid up in double quick time and I set to work with pointy bits of kitchen roll between the keys trying to dry the thing out. That's when I realise that I drop a lot more crumbs when eating toast at the computer than I originally thought. It's not pretty. But I think I get it sorted.
I'm in need of light relief now so I head over to Precie's blog and I'm checking to see of anyone else has posted for the Playtime Contest and see that Blogless Troll has entered too so I click there. BT's entry is a brilliant Love Poem which made me laugh out loud. So I thought I'd leave a comment to show my appreciation.
That'swhenIrealisedthatthekeyboardhadn'tcomeoutofitssoakingunharmed.Thespacebarhadstoppedworking!
This one is the spare!
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Playtime
Precie over at Writer At Work is running some contests this Month of May and right now she's on May Book Contest #2. This is how Precie describes her contest.
So as it's May I've written about a May game. The setting is 1976 in the grounds of a burnt out house near my home in Ireland. I want to make it perfectly clear that this is pure fiction ..........
Childhood Games
"It's a dinosaur."
"Where? I can't see it."
"There! Three horns ... it's a whatyamacallit? .. Triceratops."
"Oh yeah .. well kinda. Oooh now I see! Sometimes as the wind blows the clouds it gets clearer."
"Uhuh and sometimes it really messes a great one up. See there! A fella on a unicycle!"
"What! Now I know you're having me on."
"No look - the big circly bit is the wheel, the blobby bit's his body and there's his arms out to balance him."
"And what're those bits?"
"Uuum .. those are the chainsaws he's juggling."
Once we got the giggles that was it! We held our stomachs and rolled around in the long meadow grass surrounded by cornflowers and buttercups and a cacophony of insects. May will always be my favourite month to lie in the grass and stare at the impossibly blue sky. The breeze tossed perfect candy floss clouds around to play charades with my best friend Rose and I.
"Stop making me laugh or I'll wet my knickers."
"You said chainsaws - it's your fault!"
"Ah sugar! I can't hold it! Where'll I go?"
"Go up to the ruined house. No-one'll see you there."
"It's full of nettles and I saw boys there the other day, smoking. I don't want to have my knickers down around my ankles if they turn up again."
"Well go behind that tree then. I'll keep a lookout. You'll be grand!"
"Oooooh," I danced a jig to stop myself from going, "I hate going outside with no toilet paper - you always get drips in your panties."
"Pick a dock leaf - it'll get the drops off and if you do sit on a nettle it'll sort the sting out too!"
"DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH - I'LL BURST!" And I ran a funny little cross-legged run up the hill to the tall oak tree standing sentinel over the meadow that ran down to The Creek. I struggled with my uncooperative underwear trying to stop peeing before my dress and feet were out of the way of any wayward splashes and then ...... aaaaaaah release.
"HURRY UP THERE'S SOMEONE COMING!"
"Oh bum! How far away?" I don't think I could've stopped even if I'd wanted to. I searched the horizon and strained my ears always watching where the river of urine flowed and kept adjusting my feet to avoid it. This was a game I played often. I hated going outside but I was used to it. You had to be when your favourite hang-out was fifteen minutes from the nearest bathroom.
"Quick! Quick!"
No time for a dock leaf. Knickers up and I fled the site of the puddle! As I reached Rose, who was by now, crying from the laughing, I realised that, yet again, I'd been got.
"You're such a cow," I yelled giving her my best dead-arm punch.
"I can't help it. You're just too easy to get a rise off of. You'd believe anything!"
This week's contest assignment: Write about a childhood game. (Up to 500 words.)
Deadline: Friday, May 16, at 11 pm Eastern
What do I mean by "a childhood game"? Again, I'll leave that up to you. You may end up writing a fiction piece about kids playing, about adults reliving their past...You might write a poem about Twister or Connect 4 (yes, I realize I'm showing my age)...You could write a non-fiction essay waxing philosophical about Little League competitiveness or a memoir snippet about the first time you played Dodgeball or Break the Gate...
Again, your take can be positive or negative or ambivalent, serious or humorous or ironical, whatever approach you choose.
So as it's May I've written about a May game. The setting is 1976 in the grounds of a burnt out house near my home in Ireland. I want to make it perfectly clear that this is pure fiction ..........
Childhood Games
"It's a dinosaur."
"Where? I can't see it."
"There! Three horns ... it's a whatyamacallit? .. Triceratops."
"Oh yeah .. well kinda. Oooh now I see! Sometimes as the wind blows the clouds it gets clearer."
"Uhuh and sometimes it really messes a great one up. See there! A fella on a unicycle!"
"What! Now I know you're having me on."
"No look - the big circly bit is the wheel, the blobby bit's his body and there's his arms out to balance him."
"And what're those bits?"
"Uuum .. those are the chainsaws he's juggling."
Once we got the giggles that was it! We held our stomachs and rolled around in the long meadow grass surrounded by cornflowers and buttercups and a cacophony of insects. May will always be my favourite month to lie in the grass and stare at the impossibly blue sky. The breeze tossed perfect candy floss clouds around to play charades with my best friend Rose and I.
"Stop making me laugh or I'll wet my knickers."
"You said chainsaws - it's your fault!"
"Ah sugar! I can't hold it! Where'll I go?"
"Go up to the ruined house. No-one'll see you there."
"It's full of nettles and I saw boys there the other day, smoking. I don't want to have my knickers down around my ankles if they turn up again."
"Well go behind that tree then. I'll keep a lookout. You'll be grand!"
"Oooooh," I danced a jig to stop myself from going, "I hate going outside with no toilet paper - you always get drips in your panties."
"Pick a dock leaf - it'll get the drops off and if you do sit on a nettle it'll sort the sting out too!"
"DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH - I'LL BURST!" And I ran a funny little cross-legged run up the hill to the tall oak tree standing sentinel over the meadow that ran down to The Creek. I struggled with my uncooperative underwear trying to stop peeing before my dress and feet were out of the way of any wayward splashes and then ...... aaaaaaah release.
"HURRY UP THERE'S SOMEONE COMING!"
"Oh bum! How far away?" I don't think I could've stopped even if I'd wanted to. I searched the horizon and strained my ears always watching where the river of urine flowed and kept adjusting my feet to avoid it. This was a game I played often. I hated going outside but I was used to it. You had to be when your favourite hang-out was fifteen minutes from the nearest bathroom.
"Quick! Quick!"
No time for a dock leaf. Knickers up and I fled the site of the puddle! As I reached Rose, who was by now, crying from the laughing, I realised that, yet again, I'd been got.
"You're such a cow," I yelled giving her my best dead-arm punch.
"I can't help it. You're just too easy to get a rise off of. You'd believe anything!"
Monday, 12 May 2008
Writer's Block
Well this course is certainly sapping the writer in me. It really hasn't got going yet but there are a lot of silly (though I'm sure very valid and important) little exercises to do which I'm finding a bit dull. I'd probably engage with them better if I could actually talk about them but I'm officially gagged from posting anything I've written on the internet (plagiarism concerns) or indeed discussing any comments made about said writing. Well where's the fun in that? I'm sure it'll take off soon but right now....yawnsville!
Aside from that life is pretty great. Not much going on except I'm loving the great weather, making vitamin D as much as I can just in case this turns out to be summer. I'm optimistic of a nice one this year just to balance out the miserable one we has last year. I like to think that's how ol' mother nature manages it anyway. I start to sneeze as soon as the summer gets here. It kicked in last night unfortunately which is a bit earlier than normal (the first 3 weeks in June are normally the crucial test of the pelvic floor for me) but who knows maybe that'll mean it'll finish earlier this year too!
I often wonder if it's worth getting an allergy test done just to figure out which are the offending pollens. A couple of years ago I went on holiday to Seattle and The Pacific Northwest and as I left England I was a sneezy, runny, itchy mess but as I touched down in Seattle - nada! Gone Baby! I really wanted to move there after realising that! Plus it was the best vacation EVER! Actually all three of the holidays in the US of A I had were brilliant. The first in '93 was when T was working in New York for for 5 months. I went for 10 days and we stayed in B&Bs in New England just as the trees started turning.
Of course we did all the touristy New York things too. I loved the trip we took on The Circle Line, viewing NY from the Hudson. T's apartment was in Battery Park right underneath The World Trade Center. It was beautiful - you practically stepped out onto the river-front. I loved New York and I would have moved there in a heartbeat but it wasn't to be and Tim came home that Christmas for which I will always be grateful.
My second trip was to Washington DC in 2004. We went to one of my dearest friend's wedding in Virginia and then stayed in DC for about a week. We had a great time! The wedding was absolutely beautiful in the most gorgeous place. Stunning. And DC was amazing too. Like New York everywhere I turned felt like I was walking onto the set of a movie. I found all the war memorials to be very moving, particularly this one.
Then in 2006 we went Seattle, again to attend the wedding of a dear friend. The wedding was in the mountains in Washington State in the most incredible setting. After the weekend my family and my friend from DC's got a cabin on Lake Chelan with a big lakeside deck and we were in heaven for another week. If I ever want to relax I imagine that I'm there sitting on the deck looking over the lake, listening to the sound of the lapping water. This is what we saw when we looked out the window next to our bed in the morning.
This is a late afternoon shot of the sparkles on the lake. Magic place!
Where would be my next dream trip ... well New Zealand is supposed to be nice in winter.....
Aside from that life is pretty great. Not much going on except I'm loving the great weather, making vitamin D as much as I can just in case this turns out to be summer. I'm optimistic of a nice one this year just to balance out the miserable one we has last year. I like to think that's how ol' mother nature manages it anyway. I start to sneeze as soon as the summer gets here. It kicked in last night unfortunately which is a bit earlier than normal (the first 3 weeks in June are normally the crucial test of the pelvic floor for me) but who knows maybe that'll mean it'll finish earlier this year too!
I often wonder if it's worth getting an allergy test done just to figure out which are the offending pollens. A couple of years ago I went on holiday to Seattle and The Pacific Northwest and as I left England I was a sneezy, runny, itchy mess but as I touched down in Seattle - nada! Gone Baby! I really wanted to move there after realising that! Plus it was the best vacation EVER! Actually all three of the holidays in the US of A I had were brilliant. The first in '93 was when T was working in New York for for 5 months. I went for 10 days and we stayed in B&Bs in New England just as the trees started turning.
Of course we did all the touristy New York things too. I loved the trip we took on The Circle Line, viewing NY from the Hudson. T's apartment was in Battery Park right underneath The World Trade Center. It was beautiful - you practically stepped out onto the river-front. I loved New York and I would have moved there in a heartbeat but it wasn't to be and Tim came home that Christmas for which I will always be grateful.
My second trip was to Washington DC in 2004. We went to one of my dearest friend's wedding in Virginia and then stayed in DC for about a week. We had a great time! The wedding was absolutely beautiful in the most gorgeous place. Stunning. And DC was amazing too. Like New York everywhere I turned felt like I was walking onto the set of a movie. I found all the war memorials to be very moving, particularly this one.
Then in 2006 we went Seattle, again to attend the wedding of a dear friend. The wedding was in the mountains in Washington State in the most incredible setting. After the weekend my family and my friend from DC's got a cabin on Lake Chelan with a big lakeside deck and we were in heaven for another week. If I ever want to relax I imagine that I'm there sitting on the deck looking over the lake, listening to the sound of the lapping water. This is what we saw when we looked out the window next to our bed in the morning.
This is a late afternoon shot of the sparkles on the lake. Magic place!
Where would be my next dream trip ... well New Zealand is supposed to be nice in winter.....
Friday, 9 May 2008
Bodily Functions Anthology Part 1 (again)
As I'll probably be publishing the rest of the anthology here I thought I'd post Part 1 again for anyone brave enough to read it. Remember my target audience are boys ages 7+ or anyone with a lavatorial sense of humour.
The Cautionary Tale of Viktor Van Schplurgel
I'll tell you this tale, if you'll just be quiet
Of Viktor Van Schplurgel and his unhealthy diet.
To his pearly white teeth great attention he gave
He brushed, flossed and slooshed and at the dentist was brave.
But the food he passed through them was processed and refined
Not one single vegetable or grain would you find.
Fruit was OK if it was coated in candy -
(Chocolate raisins and peanuts were always just dandy).
He drank only soda drinks, bubbly and sweet -
They went ever so well with the garbage he'd eat.
No plain water, milk or juice did he drink
Unless they'd been sweetened, fizzed and dyed pink.
Wholegrains and brown breads were not in his lunch.
White crusty rolls were all that he'd munch -
The whiter and rubberier and fluffier the better!
Filled with processed cheese - NOT cheddar or feta
And in case you thought that he'd have it just plain,
He'd stuff it with ketchup - whole bottles he'd drain.
Of course rice and pasta were all white too -
They tasted alright and were easy to chew.
And mountains of nuggets and twizzlers and chips
And crackers and crisps and creamy fat dips.
His food was just loaded with sugar, fat and salt
He couldn't get enough - it wasn't his fault!
His dessert bowl was stocked up with sauce and ice cream
With chocolate and jellies and candy - a dream!
But when he was gorged and filled to the gill
Poor Viktor would retch and start to feel ill.
Stretched out on the couch or curled in a ball -
After mealtimes he did not feel well at all -
His insides would rumble and ache and gurgle -
Not fit for company was Viktor Van Schplurgle!
He'd groan and moan and hang on to his heart
There'd be no relief unless he could fart!
The wind and the gasses that blew up inside
Were a vile, stinking bi-product of food that he tried!
His intestines with nasty bacteria were coated,
Which caused his poor tummy to be swollen and bloated.
He'd massage his middle to get some relief
"There must be a way to avoid all this grief!"
Then one night in panic he ran to the commode -
And made it just in time for his bottom to explode
And fill up the bathroom with stinking putrescence
Like sulphurous clouds of his own effervescence.
He trumpeted, bottom-burped, popped and deflated -
The noise level he couldn't have anticipated!
And as for the smell - it near knocked Viktor out
He sat on the loo and he started to shout -
"What's wrong with me Mummy? Do you think I'll survive?
This time tomorrow, will I still be alive?"
Viktor's mother stood back with a peg on her nose
"Please clean up the bathroom and change all your clothes!
And open all the windows and wash up your hands!
Then come to the kitchen. It's time to make plans!"
So when it was over he did as he was told.
All changed and scrubbed clean and shivering with cold
He went to his Mum and sat down in the kitchen,
And she told him of vitamins, fibre and nutrition.
He listened and learned - He had not an iota
About Lactobascillus Casei Shirota
And all the good bacteria that should line his gut
To protect him from nasties that bloat him right up.
By the time that Mrs Van Schplurgel was finished
Victor's longing for junk food had greatly diminished.
He found himself craving veggies and fruit
Wholegrains and pulses and dairy to boot!
He changed his ways, did Viktor Van Schplurgel!
No more did he pop, fizz, grumble and gurgle.
Of course he still occasionally farted
This is quite normal - he wasn't down-hearted.
But he felt so much better - in fact quite a winner.
And as a result got considerably thinner
And fitter and stronger! You know you should try it!
Just eat healthy food and have a good diet!
©Jane Volker 2008
The Cautionary Tale of Viktor Van Schplurgel
I'll tell you this tale, if you'll just be quiet
Of Viktor Van Schplurgel and his unhealthy diet.
To his pearly white teeth great attention he gave
He brushed, flossed and slooshed and at the dentist was brave.
But the food he passed through them was processed and refined
Not one single vegetable or grain would you find.
Fruit was OK if it was coated in candy -
(Chocolate raisins and peanuts were always just dandy).
He drank only soda drinks, bubbly and sweet -
They went ever so well with the garbage he'd eat.
No plain water, milk or juice did he drink
Unless they'd been sweetened, fizzed and dyed pink.
Wholegrains and brown breads were not in his lunch.
White crusty rolls were all that he'd munch -
The whiter and rubberier and fluffier the better!
Filled with processed cheese - NOT cheddar or feta
And in case you thought that he'd have it just plain,
He'd stuff it with ketchup - whole bottles he'd drain.
Of course rice and pasta were all white too -
They tasted alright and were easy to chew.
And mountains of nuggets and twizzlers and chips
And crackers and crisps and creamy fat dips.
His food was just loaded with sugar, fat and salt
He couldn't get enough - it wasn't his fault!
His dessert bowl was stocked up with sauce and ice cream
With chocolate and jellies and candy - a dream!
But when he was gorged and filled to the gill
Poor Viktor would retch and start to feel ill.
Stretched out on the couch or curled in a ball -
After mealtimes he did not feel well at all -
His insides would rumble and ache and gurgle -
Not fit for company was Viktor Van Schplurgle!
He'd groan and moan and hang on to his heart
There'd be no relief unless he could fart!
The wind and the gasses that blew up inside
Were a vile, stinking bi-product of food that he tried!
His intestines with nasty bacteria were coated,
Which caused his poor tummy to be swollen and bloated.
He'd massage his middle to get some relief
"There must be a way to avoid all this grief!"
Then one night in panic he ran to the commode -
And made it just in time for his bottom to explode
And fill up the bathroom with stinking putrescence
Like sulphurous clouds of his own effervescence.
He trumpeted, bottom-burped, popped and deflated -
The noise level he couldn't have anticipated!
And as for the smell - it near knocked Viktor out
He sat on the loo and he started to shout -
"What's wrong with me Mummy? Do you think I'll survive?
This time tomorrow, will I still be alive?"
Viktor's mother stood back with a peg on her nose
"Please clean up the bathroom and change all your clothes!
And open all the windows and wash up your hands!
Then come to the kitchen. It's time to make plans!"
So when it was over he did as he was told.
All changed and scrubbed clean and shivering with cold
He went to his Mum and sat down in the kitchen,
And she told him of vitamins, fibre and nutrition.
He listened and learned - He had not an iota
About Lactobascillus Casei Shirota
And all the good bacteria that should line his gut
To protect him from nasties that bloat him right up.
By the time that Mrs Van Schplurgel was finished
Victor's longing for junk food had greatly diminished.
He found himself craving veggies and fruit
Wholegrains and pulses and dairy to boot!
He changed his ways, did Viktor Van Schplurgel!
No more did he pop, fizz, grumble and gurgle.
Of course he still occasionally farted
This is quite normal - he wasn't down-hearted.
But he felt so much better - in fact quite a winner.
And as a result got considerably thinner
And fitter and stronger! You know you should try it!
Just eat healthy food and have a good diet!
©Jane Volker 2008
Tuesday, 6 May 2008
Summer Learning, Epiphanies & Footwear
I've just started a 12 week online course with The Open University called Start Writing Fiction and I'm playing hooky already. I am still on schedule though and I'm determined, this time, to be a diligent student and get all my assignments in on the due date. It is, indeed, time to break the habit of a lifetime. I'm quite excited about this though and I'm hoping that it'll give me the proper focus to tighten up The Project which, in truth, has been floundering in the last weeks. It has already started to work actually as I had some good ideas for character development when I was out walking the dog this morning.
That's when I work out my writery bugs - pounding the earth out there, whatever the weather, with the Pooch. At least it's when I mean to do it. Unfortunately if there's anything preying on my mind it tends to usurp my creative thinking time so I can iron out those bugs instead. But I have, in the last week or so, had an epiphany of sorts. Actually I've had this epiphany before but it obviously didn't get internalised so I went and had it again. Just to be sure!
Mulling over stuff that's on your mind doesn't fix anything. It just makes you think about stuff that's on your mind for longer. It's a waste of my time and energy. If you have a problem - seek a solution - don't think about the problem. It's so bloody obvious I don't know why it's taken me several epiphanies to really know it!
So today, with priorities re-established I wondered around a country park waving my hands and talking to myself as happy as the proverbial pig in shit that I'm back to my normal sane self again!
I don't know what the weather's been like where you are but round the South East of England it is gorgeous! Summery loveliness abounds and there are smiles on the faces of all those you meet. I LOVE May. All warm and sunny with Toy Story clouds in the deep blue sky before the heat gets unbearable and the pollen goes on the attack. 'Swonderful, 'Smarvellous, 'Slovely! And more important still is the chance to ditch mucky boots and get my feet into sandals!
I know the adage goes "Ne'er shed a clout till may be out" but the way I see it if you abbreviate 'clothing' so that it reads to same as a smack in the gob - then you deserve to be ignored! This morning I shook out my three-quarter length trousers (I'm a white, freckly Celt - that's practically the same as getting naked - only not so unsightly or offensive to the general public), a light cotton top and I put on my walking sandals. I'm more of a practical person when it comes to footwear - they HAVE to be comfy! I only wear shoes that put aesthetics over comfort when I know I'm going to be sitting down a lot. It was a bit of a shock then when I noticed the feet that I'd hidden away in thick wooly socks for the last six months were looking a bit ... shall we say, jaded? In total need of a good moisturising, exfoliating and toenail-polishing. Thing is, I'm a bit weird when it comes to feet. Although I know I could do with a trip to a pedicurist and reflexologist, - it just won't be happening any time soon so I think it'll be a trip to the Scholl counter in Boots for creams, lotions and a good pumice stone. In the meanwhile I thought the least I could do was paint my nails.
Small son (Child #3) came into my bedroom.
"Mama - wotcha doin'?"
"I'm making my toenails pretty and pink."
"I like blue."
"I don't have any blue I'm afraid," I lied. I have, but I look like I've trapped my foot in a door and I'm about to lose my nails when I wear it!
"You can buy it in the shop - then I wear it."
"OK Honey."
Then small son comes close and gets his nose right next to the nail polish.
"Nail polish has a funny smell doesn't it?" I say, looking at his scrunched up nose.
"Yes it does. It does!"
"I suppose it's a chemical smell - it's not very nice stuff."
"No it's not [sniff, sniff] ... smells like .. smells like .. What is that smell?"
"It just smells like nail polish to me. It has its own smell."
"No .. it smells like dog poo. I don't want any blue ones."
So with toes radiant with pink polish and apparently whiffing of dog-poo, I greeted the wonderful summer sunshine for the first time this year in comfy sandals.
That's when I work out my writery bugs - pounding the earth out there, whatever the weather, with the Pooch. At least it's when I mean to do it. Unfortunately if there's anything preying on my mind it tends to usurp my creative thinking time so I can iron out those bugs instead. But I have, in the last week or so, had an epiphany of sorts. Actually I've had this epiphany before but it obviously didn't get internalised so I went and had it again. Just to be sure!
Mulling over stuff that's on your mind doesn't fix anything. It just makes you think about stuff that's on your mind for longer. It's a waste of my time and energy. If you have a problem - seek a solution - don't think about the problem. It's so bloody obvious I don't know why it's taken me several epiphanies to really know it!
So today, with priorities re-established I wondered around a country park waving my hands and talking to myself as happy as the proverbial pig in shit that I'm back to my normal sane self again!
I don't know what the weather's been like where you are but round the South East of England it is gorgeous! Summery loveliness abounds and there are smiles on the faces of all those you meet. I LOVE May. All warm and sunny with Toy Story clouds in the deep blue sky before the heat gets unbearable and the pollen goes on the attack. 'Swonderful, 'Smarvellous, 'Slovely! And more important still is the chance to ditch mucky boots and get my feet into sandals!
I know the adage goes "Ne'er shed a clout till may be out" but the way I see it if you abbreviate 'clothing' so that it reads to same as a smack in the gob - then you deserve to be ignored! This morning I shook out my three-quarter length trousers (I'm a white, freckly Celt - that's practically the same as getting naked - only not so unsightly or offensive to the general public), a light cotton top and I put on my walking sandals. I'm more of a practical person when it comes to footwear - they HAVE to be comfy! I only wear shoes that put aesthetics over comfort when I know I'm going to be sitting down a lot. It was a bit of a shock then when I noticed the feet that I'd hidden away in thick wooly socks for the last six months were looking a bit ... shall we say, jaded? In total need of a good moisturising, exfoliating and toenail-polishing. Thing is, I'm a bit weird when it comes to feet. Although I know I could do with a trip to a pedicurist and reflexologist, - it just won't be happening any time soon so I think it'll be a trip to the Scholl counter in Boots for creams, lotions and a good pumice stone. In the meanwhile I thought the least I could do was paint my nails.
Small son (Child #3) came into my bedroom.
"Mama - wotcha doin'?"
"I'm making my toenails pretty and pink."
"I like blue."
"I don't have any blue I'm afraid," I lied. I have, but I look like I've trapped my foot in a door and I'm about to lose my nails when I wear it!
"You can buy it in the shop - then I wear it."
"OK Honey."
Then small son comes close and gets his nose right next to the nail polish.
"Nail polish has a funny smell doesn't it?" I say, looking at his scrunched up nose.
"Yes it does. It does!"
"I suppose it's a chemical smell - it's not very nice stuff."
"No it's not [sniff, sniff] ... smells like .. smells like .. What is that smell?"
"It just smells like nail polish to me. It has its own smell."
"No .. it smells like dog poo. I don't want any blue ones."
So with toes radiant with pink polish and apparently whiffing of dog-poo, I greeted the wonderful summer sunshine for the first time this year in comfy sandals.
Thursday, 1 May 2008
123 Meme
I volunteered to do this on In Search of Giants and then got all caught up and ranty and forgot. So I'm giving it a shot today. I am nothing if not a person who sometimes, eventually figures out what that nagging feeling at the back of my brain is trying to remind me of ... more often than not ..ish!
So here's the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences, uhm, sentences six, seven and eight.
5. Tag five people and post a comment to the blogger who tagged you.
I'll do the first four but I'm not tagging anyone. If you want to do it then feel free!
Currently I'm in the family room which is full of children's books so the first book I found with more that 123 pages is Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling. I own this one. It's a special edition hardback version that my Mum-in-law gave me for Christmas because she knew I'd collected the other six. (She's lovely!)
I loved the Harry Potter series. I remember the excitement building to the publication of this book last Summer. I took Children #s 1 and 2 to a midnight launch at our local bookshop. They'd decorated it with a witchy, almost Halloween, style and had treasure hunts and competitions for the children to do while we counted down to midnight. Magic!
Some people however had a harder time waiting for its publication.
So here's the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences, uhm, sentences six, seven and eight.
5. Tag five people and post a comment to the blogger who tagged you.
I'll do the first four but I'm not tagging anyone. If you want to do it then feel free!
Currently I'm in the family room which is full of children's books so the first book I found with more that 123 pages is Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling. I own this one. It's a special edition hardback version that my Mum-in-law gave me for Christmas because she knew I'd collected the other six. (She's lovely!)
Hermione looked pleasurably flustered, but this time Krum had not come to compliment her. With a scowl on his face he said, "Who is that man in the yellow?"
"That's Xenophilous Lovegood, he's the father of a friend of ours," said Ron.
I loved the Harry Potter series. I remember the excitement building to the publication of this book last Summer. I took Children #s 1 and 2 to a midnight launch at our local bookshop. They'd decorated it with a witchy, almost Halloween, style and had treasure hunts and competitions for the children to do while we counted down to midnight. Magic!
Some people however had a harder time waiting for its publication.
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