I Blame MJ.

'S Autumn again. Now normally I'd be all yeay! Autumn. It's my favourite time of year. The leaves are turning and everything is so gorgeously beautiful and scrummy in the world that I can't wait to march out the door and breathe it all in. And I am sure that I will feel that way again very soon because as I mentioned already, I do love the Autumn.

My problem is there wasn't any summer again this year. Now I'm not one for scorchers. I'm probably alone in the fact that I generally really like the summers around these parts. Sometimes they get a bit too hot. I prefer a summer's day not to go above 25ºC - 28ºC at a push. That's the way summer used to be. Yes we always had rainy days but generally they were a pleasant break from the monotony of sunshine and we had an excuse not to water the garden. This summer we got the barbeque out once - and that was in MAY! What the heck is all this dullness we've had the last two years? It's like it went from grey to wet and grey and back to grey again. How's a girl supposed to make vitamin D around here?

Then September started, the children returned to school and something yellow appeared in the sky. Tentatively at first it just peeked at us around the white fluffy clouds as if to say "Remember me? Can I come and play?" and shyly we all began to smile again and whisper to each other, "Do you think this is it? Is this summer?" The heat tempted us back into short sleeves although we carried a fleece in case a dreaded cloud covered the yellow thing up again and the temperature plunged by 10ºC in a second. But Oh! it was joyful. I wasn't fooled. I knew that Autumn had indeed arrived because the gold, rust and red leaves were beginning to be crunched under foot as I walked the dog and there was just slightest sense that the light was beginning to dim. But it was warm and sunny and so very pleasant.

Then Maureen Johnson went and ruined it all.

Now I love her. I really do. She's funny and smart and I want to be just like her when I grow up. But yesterday she did something dreadful.

At 2.37pm on her Facebook update she wrote:

Maureen is wondering how long this ENGLISH SUNSHINE is going to last! I shouldn't even say that. I am so jinxing myself.

Today it is raining.

I'm just saying…

This is True Job Satisfaction.

I wouldn't normally talk about work because of confidentiality issues but I think as long as I steer clear of talking about individuals it's OK. I'm just going to tell you about my day.

Today I went to work dressed as Mary Poppins. Why? Well … because it's Mary Poppins Day of course! You didn't know that? Duh! I thought everyone knew that! OK so I didn't know either till a few weeks ago but it's marked in my calander again for next year because Mary Poppins Day is THE. BEST. DAY. EVER.

I wasn't so sure a I squeezed my Michelin Man figure into a seriously slim-fitting long skirt, fitted blouse and fitted jacked. It was all very fitted. And it didn't really fit. But not to worry, with my shiny black boots on and my feet standing at 180º from each other, I was everything a practically perfect Nanny should be. Well almost … I couldn't find an umbrella and I had to drive to work instead. But hey - I said I was practically perfect.

Classes 1 and 2 - so ages 4 to 7 - and teaching staff took part. You've never seen so many people totally embracing the notion of Role Play. We had Berts, Marys, Janes, Michaels and Chimney Sweeps galore. In fact the dabbing on of coal soot was embraced with great gusto.

We watched the bit of the movie where Mary first arrives noting at all times what perfect manners Mary Poppins had. It's also Good Manners Week at my school so that was a very important part of the lesson. At the point where Mary takes the children to the park and they Bert doing some pavement drawings we all marched outside and drew on an enormous (probably 60' long) sheet of paper our favourite piece of the film so far. The children drew enormous houses with weather vanes, children with kites, one-man-bands, Nannies with flying umbrellas - one even drew a medicine bottle with spoon full of sugar. The creative expression was just amazing.

We pretended to be chimney sweeps, to take our medicine (it was fruit smoothie) and we sang our little hearts out. I have never had so much fun working in my life. If I were to give a report on the day, it would read as follows:

Synopsis of day:

I have had no time left in our fun-packed morning to write about it as we have been far too busy being supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Normal function will resume again when the wind changes direction.

All Identity Is A Matter Of Choice?

On Tuesday it was Small Son's birthday. He was 5. Or, as we've been calling it for six months now, Big 5! The Hubby, unfortunately, was away in Amsterdam (and not a single tulip did he return with - but I digress…) at a big Broadcasting Industry Exhibition. So, groggy and tealess (tea-making would be Hubby's function in these early morning proceedings) at 6.30 am we had the big opening of presents. We're of the "why wait when there's toys to be played with" club - delayed gratification is the enemy of spontaneity! Five minutes and several feet deep in moulded plastic, wrapping paper and cardboard boxes later, there was a dogfight going on between Darth Vader's TIE Fighter and Obi-Wan Kenobi's Starfighter. The Indiana Jones Mr. Potato Head (Taters of the Lost Ark - I kid you not) had already lost his facial features, the big shiny Dalek wasn't moving because Silly Mama forgot to get batteries and the dog was licking me in a desperate attempt to force me into taking her for a walk. It worked. Sort of. I had to be back before Big Son needed to leave for his bus so actually it was the time that did it. I dragged my sorry ass into my walking boots and went to the park to play fetch for a half hour. When I returned Star Wars IV was still being re-enacted, Big Son and Daughter were nearly ready to go but the Big 5 guy wasn't showing any interest in breakfast or getting dressed. That said, he was hyper-excited about going to school. Scoffing down his cereal he asked if he could wear his badges. So 10 minutes later, after brushing teeth and combing hair we attached a massive "BIRTHDAY BOY" badge onto the front of his school sweatshirt and another that for some reason said "HARRY POTTER" (must be Happy Birthday in Wizard). We took two packets of cakes and small pack of sweeties for everyone in his class (these are given going home when parents are present) with us and off we set for school. Small Son practically ran the whole way. Birthdays are SOOOO exciting!

I had a quick word with his teacher in the playground, telling her that Daddy was away and we were saving the birthday cake till tomorrow when he returned - so if she could make it a special day for him I'd be really grateful. She's so lovely, his teacher - they had a little birthday snack-time, sang to him, gave him a birthday sticker and just made him feel so special. I love that school!

Before all that though, we were standing in line in the playground when one of Small Son's younger classmates came up and looking at his badge covered sweatshirt said:

"What are them badges?"

"Oh they're birthday badges - Small Son is 5 today."

"5? … Already?"

Let me explain that the school year groups are sorted from children born Sept 1st - August 31st. Therefore with a birthday on September 16th, Small Son is actually one of the oldest in his class. The boy he was talking to wouldn't be five till next April.

"That's right," said Small Son, "I am Big and 5 today!"

"Well I'm bigger than you."

Small Son looked up at me a bit confused. He knew about one other boy who was older than him but it wasn't this guy. "Is he?" he asked.

"Well… no actually" (I was trying to be tactful - boys are a bit funny about how big they are and challenges to said "bigness" and I didn't want any negativity ruining Small Son's day) - "You're still 4." Then smiling I added, "you'll be five next year!"

"No I won't I will be six and then I will be bigger than you."

"I think that you have to be five first before six … I'm pretty sure that's how it works."

"Not me!" he declared, "I'm not going to be five. I'm going straight to six - I've decided!"

You see I always knew identity was a matter of choice. You've got to admire someone who will not be defeated by a simple matter of chronology.

Of course I bent down and whispered in Small Son's ear that his mate was totally off his rocker. Bonkers in fact! They both seemed satisfied as they toodled off into class and a great day was had by all!

Silly Quizzes

On a visit to Mom-In-Scrubs' blog I came across the following quiz and just for fun I took it too. It seems both MIS and I are positively smashing at English. However having done that one I just kept going because deep down inside I have a real competitive streak wen it comes to silly quizzes. In no other area of my life do I even hint at competitiveness - but put a quiz in front of me and I go all starry-eyed and become desperate to share the insane amount of useless information I have acquired over my very interesting(?) life. I am such a nerd. But I am proud to be. Take some quizzes with me whydon'tcha?

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

English Genius

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

Take The Commonly Confused Words Test at HelloQuizzy

Then I took the "Which Harry Potter Character Are You?" test. My scores were actually as follows:
7 Potterness, 12 Grangertude, -24 Malfoyism, 7 Weasleyness, 0 Lunatude and -1 Longbottomness!

Only -1 for Longbottomness - they've obviously never seen my bottom!

Yes I'm Hermione - a by-the-book-know-it-all-who-likes-to-hang-out-with-the-guys. As I have already admitted my love of useless information - who else could I have been? I swear if JKR ever publishes Hogwarts: A History I will be first in the queue to but it!

Your result for Another Harry Potter Character Test...

Hermione Granger

"I read about it in Hogwarts; A History!"

The bookworm of all groups, you're the one everyone turns to when they have a question. You don't care much what others think of you, and are pretty darn smart! You're die hard loyal. When it comes to school, you dot your i's and cross your t's.

Take Another Harry Potter Character Test at HelloQuizzy

Then I thought just how astute am I? and whaddaya know there was a quiz for that too.

Your result for How astute are you?...

Fast-witted Fox

87% Astute

You're certainly clever, but maybe you're just a bit too quick at answering. Did you add up the pieces of fruit in each answer? Did you count the number of mothers? Did you continue reading to find the last "cow"? You've done really well, though, so go and have some chocolate to celebrate!

Take How astute are you? at HelloQuizzy

They even knew how much I love chocolate - surely these are the wisest quizzes ever!

In the early 80's when I was in secondary school I was very into The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. I know I read at least 4 of the 5 books. But that was back in the 80's and I can't remember as far back as breakfast-time with ant clarity. I have to say I guessed a pile of these answers. Still it's good to be a Hoopy Frood. That is good right?

Your result for The How Well Do You Know Douglas Adams, and Hitch Hiker's Guide Test...

Ford Prefect

You scored 74 % Knowledge!

You're a hoopy frood from a far out planet, you know Betelgeuse Seven from Magrathea, but may slip up on more difficult questions. Perhaps you only know one version of the Hitch Hiker's Guide, or slipped up on Douglas Adams knowledge... nevermind, you are clearly a true fan with some serious knowledge and that's what counts.

Please rate my test as it is entered in the 'Geekery' contest, if I get bad ratings I will try to improve the test, feel free to message me with any feedback. Thanks

Take The How Well Do You Know Douglas Adams, and Hitch Hiker's Guide Test at HelloQuizzy

It was at this point that I'd even bored myself and the need for tea overtook me.

The Impotence of Proofreading By Taylor Mali

I totally nicked this off Candy Gourlay's fab website Notes From The Slush Pile. I simply had to. It's far too god not to share with the whale wild wode. (OK that makes more sense after you watch this)



I laughed my shelf skilly!

Back To School!

What a week!

I have started the new job and have had to attend two meetings this week to iron out what we'll be doing in the run-up to Christmas. I will be working in Reception class (ages 4-5) for this year and it looks like a busy time. I have been loaded down with books, pieces of paper, courses and meetings and all I can say is I'm glad that I'm only doing 11 and a half hours a week because you have no idea how much work goes into those six hours when your kids are at school.

I have a renewed respect for teachers. They have a hard job. I can't talk about the specifics of my job because of confidentiality issues but I can say that it looks like it's going to be both challenging and rewarding and I'm looking forward to getting stuck in.

The people I work with seem like a really friendly bunch. Today was officially my first day and they gave me a little welcome present of a mug, sweeties, a pen with Eeyore on it and a sheep puppet. (This is where I remind you again that I am working with 4-5 year olds). I thought it was lovely. Small son is currently murdering all his little Lego men with the sheep puppet, the kids have polished off the sweeties and I am about to christen the mug with its first Cuppa.

Having spent the last 6 weeks getting up mid morning and spending half the day in my jimjams, the 7am wake-up call of the last couple of days been a bit of a shock to the system. I'm not naturally a morning person - although strangely enough, neither am I a night person. If there were no such thing as a schedule I'd probably wake naturally around 9am and fancy going to bed by 10.30 in the evening. How dull am I? Like any new regime it's just going to be a case of getting into the swing of things. I expect to stop yawning sometime mid-October.

Tomorrow is a really BIG day for the family. Daughter starts in secondary school. I thought it'd be a total breeze for her as she'd be able to just go along with Big Son who could show her the ropes but, of course, just to make things difficult, he starts back on Friday so the poor love has to go to the Huge Big School on her own on the first day. Further complications have arisen as her bus pass has not arrived. I am assured that the bus driver is obliged to take her on the bus regardless (as long as she is wearing the right uniform) as they are not allowed to leave a child at a bus stop. However the same driver is NOT obliged to take her home as s/he will be picking her up from the school and that is considered a secure environment. The transportation people have told me that the school should be able to issue her with a temporary bus pass once she's there so, fingers crossed that she'll actually get back home tomorrow too. Sheesh!

The other big thing is that Small Son is starting primary school. He has never done more than a four-day week before and as of tomorrow he is expected to go to school from 8.50 - 3.10, five days a week. He's only four! OK so he's five in a couple of weeks - but he seems so young to be at school for such a long day. The rest of Europe starts kids full time the year they turn 7. He's excited about it and his teacher is divinely wonderful and lovely (the perfect Reception teacher) so I know that once the exhaustion of the first few weeks has passed he'll be just fine.

So tonight I'm labelling all the uniforms, writing notes and filling in forms. There will be an early dinner, then bath, then bedtime by 8.

I have no idea what the kids will be doing!