We're doing a Pantomime with 50 kids aged between 4 and 7 this week. It's an hour and a half long and we've got 5 performances to do. My job is crowd control. I have to sit with half the kids and keep them from making noise. The ones who aren't onstage at any given time sit on benches to either side of it. They are in full view of the audience, right next to microphones and remain in costume in the full glare of the lights. There's another teaching assistant on the other side doing the same.
I have Expecto on my side. He's playing a little lost sheep and is essentially wearing a big furry sheepskin coat. His part is finished by about half way through after which he asks me constantly when it's going to be over.
"I'm hot!"
"I hate this bit!"
"I'm starving. My tummy is rumbling"
"Heimlich isn't doing his actions. HEY HEIMLICH, WIGGLE! WIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGLLLLLE!!!!!!"
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WIG-GUH-LING!"
"How much longer?"
"How long is ten minutes?"
Yesterday I found myself saying the following Thing I Never Thought I'd Need To Say (TINTINTS)
After urging Expecto to keep his voice down again I said
"If you don't keep quiet nobody's going to be able to hear all the mean things the wolf says."
----------------------------------------------------------------
It's been a mad week for many reasons. If you still are vaguely interested in the laminator saga I will get to it soon. Honest!
14 comments:
Recalling your photos from earlier in the year, maybe there are one or two big ole sticks in that nearby woods you could deploy as...sticks.
Large sticks usually keep kids in line, I've found.
I have a lovely one this week:
"If you're done eating your cheese, put it in the trash, not your shoe."
Gotta love two-year-olds...
LOL @ you and at Natalie. Wary glance at Whirl.
We're doing a Pantomime with 50 kids aged between 4 and 7 this week.
Have you sought professional help? I mean, no one does this unless they are certifiably insane.
Appropriately, the verification word right now is paingly.
Children's panto? Just another word for chaos. Luckily for you and Expecto, what the audience really love is the unscripted fun!
Good luck with your week, hon.
Oh, I love this! Reminds me a bit of the boy in the movie with you.
Sweet little lost sheepy boys.
Gotta love 'em (at least until they grow up...)
I have to sit with half the kids and keep them from making noise.
Yeah. Uh... good luck with that.
I wish we could fast forward to Expecto's graduation day-- should be entertaining!
good luck... it's all i can say... if you haven't pulled your hair out or had a complete nervous break down after its all said and done you deserve an award! lol
Whirl I know you're only kidding but some of the parents of these children were psycho. I tell ya the spirit of 'Mommy Dearest' lives on! The stress of this week came 100% from these poor kids' parents!
The mother of one 5 year old who was a dragonfly who wafts on stage for a few bars of a song and then had to sit on a hard bench for the rest of the time, came up to her afterwards and (I kid you not) told her that her performance was "terrible" and ordered the other TA to move her to another seat where she wouldn't be so 'distracted by naughty children'. And this was not an isolated incident. (My co-worker told her that the children were allocated their place for good reason, thank you and that she thought the little girl was a very beautiful dragonfly).
Natalie Hee hee that's a good one! The rubbish I've found in my kids' shoes…
Oh Aerin he's only kidding … I think!
Pete if the kids were just allowed to have fun and the adults didn't get so darn serious about it - it would've been great fun. And yes - having a screw loose is a 'desirable skill' in this job.
Sarah HA! Yes I think I should devote a TINTINTS Thursday to things said exclusively to/about the dog!
Bee Some of it was indeed wonderful and it's always a joy to have Expecto nearby!
Robin my little lost sheep was cinema kid. He's such a cutie!
Aine - an impossible task but without the constant shushing it would have been mayhem. They did brilliantly all things considered. And as for Expecto he makes my days. Today he told us that the news of Jesus' birth was brought by the Archangel Galadriel. Only four and already a Tolkein fan!
Sabrae no awards necessary and I'm sure the hair will grow back. Eventually. Luckily I'm already grey so I don't have to worry about that!
Ha! This kid sounds too funny.
By the way, I just found out what a pantomime is (ignorant American that I am.) Anyway, good luck with that. Sound like it should be pure chaos, but hilarious.
It sounds like either vast amounts of alcohol or tranquilisers are needed when dealing with Expecto.
I'm so sorry it's been a bad week, honey, I do so hope things improve and you have a fabby weekeend.
Send love and hugs xxx
Renee Panto is a very British thing and very much associated with the Christmas season. It was hilarious in so many ways and chaos is exactly the right word for it.
AV Expecto is fairly full on but he's absolutely adorable. I love inquisitive children like him. It's just a pity that something that's should've been fun put so much pressure on tiny little shoulders.
'Sover now though - so I can have a little glass of wine to celebrate!
Only my first visit, but already I'm liking the blog. Charming.
Dave thank you an welcome. I'm charmed to have you here! Come again.
Post a Comment