As I was saying.....

So this morning I said 1) that it was my first blogiversary and 2) that I had to go to the dentist. The first is still true ; the second is now in the past tense.

I write to you now with a frozen face and minus one very healthy upper right 8 - that is my wisdom tooth. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it and it it really didn't sit well with me that I should pay someone to whip it out. But I am not a dental professional and my hygenist told me that because it was so tightly packed into my jaw, it was impossible to clean around and my gums were suffering because of it. Also its inclusion in my mouth has caused such over-crowding that my front teeth have started to cross (well in the last 10 years it's become more pronounced) and my jaw is out of alignment. So basically there's nothing wrong with my tooth but I'm promised that my mouth will be a prettier place because I've had it removed.

I feel a bit sorry for my tooth. It's sitting in a little white envelope now. It is freaky lookin' though. On the one end it just looks like what was in my mouth BUT THE OTHER END LOOKS LIKE A SHARK'S TOOTH. No kidding it's about 2 cms long and pointy. It's fraggin' enormous. No wonder it took two people to extract it!

I've had past experience of having a molar pulled where the anaesthetic didn't work so I was less than normal serene self when I went in - but, actually, as oral mutilation goes it was really painless. I have an Eastern European Dentist who is very nice but is somewhat limited in her vocabulary. This was the woman who after cleaning my petrified (then) 10-year-olds teeth said

"Now you brush two times ebbery day or I come take all out. OK? Good!"

Honestly I wasn't confident she was even going to give me an anaesthetic. But she did - one on the upper gum (so unpleasant) and another on the roof of my mouth (excruciating). And thankfully they worked well and quickly. She explained that the lower jaw is harder to freeze that the upper. And so it seems to be for me.

The following couple of minutes were just yuck. There was all this scraping and the dental assistant had to hold my head steady while the 6' tall Eastern European Dentist practically climbed into my mouth to get enough leverage to yank the damn thing. They might as well have used a vice. Still she spoke soothingly to me as my head tossed back and forth.

"You do werry well. Das good. Juss one more minute. GOT IT!"

Then before I knew it my mouth was packed with cotton and she was barking a list of instructions while I was handed my coat and ushered out. It took about 5 minutes in all.

"No eat for two hour. No eat anything hot after that or mouth will bleed. No hot drink too. If pain after anaesthetic juss take normal painkiller. You be fine. Any kvestions? No? Byeeeee!"

Then I was handing over my credit card and drooling down my chin.

So here I am - tealess. It's two O'clock in the afternoon and I haven't had anything since breakfast at 7.30 and I can't eat for another hour. I'm bloody starving.

And no tea for the rest of the day. Who'd have thought that going to the dentist could have such unpleasant consequences.

Happy Bloggiversary to me.