Happy Valentine's Day.

I know lots of people hate Valentine's Day. It's the archetypal Hallmark Holiday - invented for totally commercial purposes for the fleecing of the intellectually impaired - i.e. those in the throes of first love.

Well I'm not such a cynic. Yes! Yes! I know that all that's true but it's also true (I believe) that love isn't celebrated nearly enough. We live busy, busy lives and days, weeks and even months can fly by in a blink without taking the time to really appreciate the love in your life. The oldest argument in the book against February 14th is that "I don't need a special day to buy you flowers or tell you how I feel." And that's quite true. But friends and lovers everywhere I have to ask how often do you remember to do it? Certainly I believe that you shouldn't only be romantic with each other on this day but I do feel having a special day put aside that grants you permission to go all out and ham it up for the love of your life can only be a good thing. Remember your romantic gesture doesn't have to help Hallmark at all - a simple handwritten letter is more romantic than almost anything. I think that taking the time and putting in a little effort to woo the love of your life is always worth it.

So, to you all I wish a very Happy Valentine's Day. Go on … tell the one you love just how much they mean to you.

Romancectomy.

Still grabbing at every challenge laid before me I have finally decided to do one of Robin's Voice Challenges. Normally I duck behind the parapet when these are going on because I have an unerring ability to transform into a stuttering eejit when asked to read aloud. However I've realised that even I couldn't mess up this one: How about we turn Valentine's day around? Read something slushily romantic in the least romantic way possible?. Well for me all I had to do was read it.

I realise this isn't very clear. It's fairly self-explanatory as to why that is. If you want a crystal clear rendition of it pop over to Whirl's gaff as he annunciated and projected for benefit of Maurice.




In the picture: my notebook and pen, the memory sick that contains all my writing, a cup of tea in my favourite mug, a packet of Lemsip flu capules, a box of (and several used) tissues and a bottle of echinacea drops.

With apologies to lovers of the Bard everywhere.

Things I Have Learned

1. If you screw up your back, however slightly you should so something about it straight away.

2. Soldiering on instead of prioritising yourself and your health is foolish.

3. Going into work when you should be taking care of yourself, because you feel guilty about taking time off, will come back to bite you on the bum.

4. Not feeling guilty about taking time off, even when you have to (because you can't move any more) is harder than it sounds.

5. When you are told to rest by a doctor they don't mean do less they mean do nothing.

6. Doing nothing is impossible.

7. It is also impossible to pick something up without bending. Even if you manage to keep your back straight going down you will lean forward to get back up again.

8. Having a healthy back is essential for your general health and wellbeing.

9. Chronic pain affects your mood. That might sound like common sense but think of it this way: I expect to feel cranky if I'm in pain at any given time but if you are in pain, however mild, and it stays with you for an extended period of time, it's physically hard to feel happy.

10. Chiropractors are worth their weight in gold.

11. My family is very understanding.

12. There is a big difference between knowing that the vacuuming needs to be done and just choosing to ignore it and knowing that the vacuuming needs to be done and not being able to do it. The former makes you feel like a rebel and rather smug, the latter makes you resent your dog for having a coat.

13. I love my dog and am totally blessed that I have to walk her every day. It's probably the thing that's kept me from having a slipped disc and from going potty.

14. Walking in fresh snow is fun. Walking on ice and slush is hair-raisingly scary.

15. My favourite things to do are sitting on my bed daydreaming and tapping away on my laptop. Unfortunately my back hates me doing these. It wants me to lie flat or be walking. Sitting for extended periods - even 10 minutes or more - makes it angry. This is why I haven't been visiting you guys this past week.

16. I have fantastic blogging buddies. Thank you to everyone you've sent me healing Karma, given me awards, sent me well-wishes and not clawed me for getting behind on my challenge.

17. I need to respect my body more - it really is a wonderful thing.

18. Being able to move is fantastic.

19. People who call to your door or phone you don't wait long enough for a creaky person to get to said door or phone. Honestly the number of time this week I've got up to answer one or the other of these to find myself abandoned is … um … lots!


20. Getting better is the best gift ever.

Thank you all for your patience at all this complaining. I'm done now. Shutting up!

A Bit of Whitter For Ya.

There was a bit of an accident down the Rabbit Hole. Our great and benevolent Queen, rather squiffy after an evening of quaffing margaritas, tripped up on her way from the royal throne to the …um … other "royal throne" and bumped rather clumsily into Norman, the Royal Executioner and Baseball Bat Wielder, who lost his grip on his ax.

You'll be relieved to know it was quick. Janey, Queen of Hearts shall be missed by all, just as soon as kingdomwide celebration mourning is over. In about 10 years or so. Her rule was torturously long but in the end her coffin was quite short.

The upside is that whinging is very much back on the agenda. Whine away folks! Whine away!

OK then - I'll go first! Since I fell prey to the dreaded lurgi in December I've not really been myself. Obviously the whole back saga has been aired here already so the update on that is that the chiropractor sessions are helping enormously but then I go to my job where the average height of the clientelle is three feet and the furniture is about 18 inches off the floor. The upshot was that I kept undoing all the good of the back cracking by hobnobbing with the elves. So finally I had to face the fact that I was going to have to stay off work to get better. My resistance to this piece of common sense is because it's really hard to manage in a school when staff are absent. Teaching and special needs assistants like myself, don't get covered. The class just has to do without which places an extra burden on the, already over-worked, other members of staff. However it was clear to me that I wasn't going to get better as long as I kept going into work so I packed myself off to the GP yesterday. I'm now off on the doctor's orders for a minimum of a week, although she reckons that 10 days is a fairly conservative estimate. While I was there I mentioned this annoying cough I've had since mid December that only seems to bother me in the evening. Having had a quick check and answering a pile of questions it was established that I was running a temperature of about 100ºF and that nasally feeling I had is because I had a sinus infection. For the last 6 weeks. Now I will admit that I've been unusually warm recently, given that I normally have the core temperature of the Snow Queen, but actually that's been quite nice. I do realise that I've been a bit off but it's amazing how you get used to it. One day in to the antibiotics and I actually feel a whole lot more chipper. My hands are freezing again though. Still it's a small price to pay for being able to breathe again.

So on my first day off work I walked the dog twice (not only OK but recommended for back probs) and I started a new short story. My public humiliation challenge is doing well too (see top right) so all in all I'm a happy little Janey.

Rabbit Hole Day

Today is the birthday of Lewis Carroll and in his honour many of us around the blogsphere are taking part in Rabbit Hole Day. The idea is that you write a blog post that you wouldn't normally consider - something that's sort of the opposite of you. Fairyhedgehog started the ball rolling by suggesting it, although technically the first ball roller was Sarah Laurenson who disappeared down the rabbit hole today and popped up 10 days ago. Anything can happen down the rabbit hole. McKoala is showing off her Dutch and I'm sure that as the day progresses there will be further additions to the list. Myself? Well for one day only I have donned an appalling superiority complex, and become the Queen of Hearts. What can I say except "Off with your heads!"

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MINIONS!

BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! GROVEL AT MY FEET! (not too close I hate anyone touching the royal tootsies).
I, YOUR QUEEN, AND BENEVOLENT RULER (when I can be bothered), DO ISSUE A DECREE TO ALL THAT YOUR POINTLESS WHINING WILL STOP FORTHWITH (or is that width? - I can never remember). FOR FAR TOO LONG NOW I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOUR GRIPES: "OOH IT'S ALL DARK AND COLD! MY LIFE IS WALL TO WALL VOMIT! POO, WHO WILL REPRESENT ME? EDITING'S SO HARD! MY BACK HURTS AND MY HUBBY'S IN THE MIDDLE EAST (oh - that was me …um, one … ignore that last bit. I can be as whingy as I like - perk of the job). EVERYTHING SUCKS! SUCKY SUCK SUCKS!"

OF COURSE IT DOES! YOU'RE BLOODY MINIONS. IT IS YOUR JOB TO HAVE A SUCKY LIFE SO I CAN FEEL SUPERIOR. OTHERWISE WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT OF BEING ME? LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT ONCE AND FOR ALL - YOUR ONLY FUNCTION IS TO ENTERTAIN ME! ME! ME! ME! (doesn't that have a lovely ring to it?) ME!

AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LIVES EITHER. YOUR TRIALS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS ARE BUT INTERFERENCE - STATIC ON THE CHANNEL. NO! WHAT I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IS … ME. HOW LOVELY I AM, HOW KIND, HOW MODEST AND SELF-EFFACING - (you know the sort of thing I mean - it's no fun if I have to spell it out for you) - AND I WANT IT TO BE SPONTANEOUS AND FROM THE HEART. YOU HAVE TO MEAN IT (seriously - I've made it law). I WANT MY SYCOPHANTS TO BE HONEST TO GOODNESS JANEYLOVERS OR YOU MIGHT JUST FIND THAT YOUR COLLECTIVE HEADS WILL BE HAVING A SERIOUS FALLING OUT WITH YOUR COLLECTIVE SHOULDERS.

CAPICE?

OH AND BRING ME CAKE! I WANT CAKE AVAILABLE AT ALL TIMES. AND TEA. TEA SHOULD BE BROUGHT TO ME ANY TIME I FANCY IT (and you should just know when that is - I shouldn't have to go around telling you) EXCEPT WHEN I WANT A MARGARITA (coz if you bring me tea when I'm in the mood for a fiesta - let's just say that you're going to be needing a very short coffin) . AND MAKE SURE YOU FILL THE GLASS UP TO THE SALT LINE. OH AND ..UM.. LEAVE THE PITCHER!

UNDERSTAND I DO THIS TO GIVE YOUR PATHETIC LIVES PURPOSE. YOU WILL BE HAPPIER! (of course that's an order - do I look like I'm talking here for my health?)

I DEMAND ASK SO LITTLE. JUST YOUR COMPLETE SERVITUDE. SO DON'T DISAPPOINT ME.

I'm Up For Some Public Humiliation

McKoala has issued a challenge to keep the writing output levels at a steady and consistent pace. She has kindly referred to it as The Public Humiliation Challenge. The aim is to work on at least 100 words a day, six days a week. This can take the form of writing (blog posts don't count), editing, plotting and planning (as long as it's on paper or screen - thinking about it doesn't cut ice with the Koala) - basically the rules are here. Then you have to post a description of the work carried out and the word count achieved (or revised) either on your own blog or on whatever post is current on McK's. She has lovely badges to reward or punish you for your progress or lack thereof. The wrath of the Koala Claw is to be avoided.

So a minimum of 600 words a week will completely cover my obligation of 1000 words a month in Aerin's Challenge. I'm hoping that after a short while I'll get back into the rhythm of writing again every day.

I'd better get on with it I guess or the cute little marsupial will go all ninja on me.

This is a bit like being back at school again. Who wants to hang out around the bike shed to goss about who fancies whom?

**Late addition**
You can follow my progress at the top right hand corner of my blog. I will update the word count each day giving you the count for that day and the accumulated count.

She Moves!

I finally got my ass to a chiropractor today. I realized that this problem wasn't fixing itself with rest. Well - that statement is untrue - when I could rest it, there was a definite improvement in symptoms but who the hell can rest with a job, a dog, three kids and a house to run? (I left Hubby out of that list because he's brilliant at helping out and can completely sort himself out, which he's been doing). The biggest problem has been work because of all the diddy furniture and the bending down involved. Any good gained from taking it easy at home was completely undone in three hours of working with 4-5 year-olds. And anyway, even when the pain eased up through rest, I still wasn't sorting out the actual problem.

Basically my neck is banjaxed and a different problem with my pelvis has caused my lower back to seize up. Two vertebrae in the base of my neck are out of place. This is causing serious restrictions in movement and trapping nerves which in turn are causing problems with using my arm. It's also the reason for an increased number of headaches I've been getting. My chiropractor was brilliant; she was very calm, very good at explaining everything and I was putty in her hands. Honestly she was so relaxing that I didn't even flinch when she said to me:

"So for this next bit I'm just going to use a little gun to ease the pressure along your spine."

She then added it was nothing to be worried about and that it sounded a lot scarier than it actually was. It was only at that point did I realise what she'd actually said. I think if she'd told be to run barefoot over hot coals I'd have gone along with it.

So after ONE three-quarter hour session I walked out feeling light as air. I am now able to put on my own shoes and I even ran up the stairs. God bless chiropractors! And why in the name of all that's holy can't they be on the NHS? This was one session and I feel so much relief I can't tell you. By the time I've finished the treatment I'll be poorer, sure, but I won't have missed any work, I won't have needed the kind of strong painkillers my GP would have put me on and I'll have cured the cause of the problem. Had I let this go on I have no doubt that I would've ended up with a slipped disc or something, thereby costing the National Health System (NHS) and my employers a lot more. But the medical profession continues to view alternative therapies, such as this, as quackery which is why thousands of people who could be helped, but who haven't go the means to seek private therapy, languish at home in chronic pain. I'm sure that this costs the National Health System more in the end.

I will now bound off my soapbox - because I can.