My husband asked me last night if I'd given up blogging and for a second there I had to think about it. I mean what's going on with me? I've written very little in the way of fiction in the last few weeks, my blogging posts are rarer than hen's teeth and I've even been a bit scarce on the blog-visiting front.
The honest answer is I'm not sure but I know it started with my performance review at work. I was confronted with a big decision about my career. Do I continue down the route I'm on, developing my skills and possibly training further to be a teacher or do I resist that route knowing that it will inevitably take me farther away from my dream of being a writer. I'm so tired these days that I can't get my head around writing a blog post let alone plots and characters. I really enjoy my job but it's draining, physically, emotionally and intellectually. It feels like I'm at a crossroads but I'm just not willing to chose a route yet.
What I decided - pretty much on the spot - was that I would increase my hours but I would still be part time. I elected for more training in special needs with particular emphasis on autism and speech and language development. In the meanwhile I'm going to see how I feel about my writing after the summer holidays. I have six weeks off and that's plenty of time to discover whether this is what I need to do or if there is another path for me to take...
14 comments:
Janey, I know you will do what is best for you and we may miss you but that's what Facebook is for.
And...um...just, you know, a suggestion....if you need to make a field study, in person, of a child with autism...I think the school system should pay for you to come here...
Aw, I definitely miss you, but that line of work IS draining, yet very rewarding. My mom worked with a sweet autistic boy all school year. She was beat.
Keep in touch no matter what you decide. Like Aerin said, facebook, etc. The occasional email, whatever:) I'll let you know if the good news ever comes:)
Oooooh, I so get this. Different line of work, similar situation. Reading NB's "time to step up your game" downer post the other day doesn't help, either.
I'm understanding your situation. I've missed your posts, but I've also had a hard time lately getting the posts in. Like today. I hope all goes well and keep us informed of what you're doing.
We love you no matter what direction your life goes in : ) As long as you're happy!
Aerin - thanks. I sometime wonder if Facebook isn't half the problem. It's like (kinda) instant gratification. And as for your suggestion- if there was a way to wangle them paying for a trip to Colorado you know I'd be there to visit you and your lovely boy.
Thanks Natalie - it's coming up for the end of year and everyone is fractious. This is also when we do all the reports and review progress and make plans for the next year. I think that I need to go on a fitness regime. My stamina needs a boost. Have no fear I will be hanging out in the ether waiting for my energy to return.
Peter - it's the downer of having responsibilities and a mortgage that sometimes we have to take the sensible option. I will pop to read that post. Who knows it might be inspirational....or the opposite....
Lois - I need to get better at visiting everyone. I let it slide for a week and then there are so many unread blogposts on the reader it becomes like a task instead of fun (except of course it is fun once you start). I'm just slowing down right now so I can figure stuff out. ;0)
Oh Kiersten you are sweet! It's that special blog love that makes me love doing this!
It sounds like a hard choice to make. I guess it depends a bit on what you can afford to do and a bit on what gives you the most satisfaction.
I miss seeing you around but I know how manic schools get at this time of year. (Well, most times of year if we're honest.)
Good luck for finishing out the term in one piece and then you can enjoy your much needed break.
Go to some secluded place by the beach side... close to nature where you are truly at peace... and yes, take a couple of bottles of wine along with you. :) And then when you are out ask yourself what you love the most... being with Nutty or writing about him?
I know am not helping am I? :D
It's always odd when favourite bloggers go without posting for a while — not so much like losing an arm as mislaying a cherished hamster — and I appreciate the dilemma you face. Having trodden the Special Needs path a while ago (as a carer, note), I know how draining it can be, particularly when you have more demands on your free time than curling up in front of the telly and drifting off.
One bonus, however. Although the end of the summer term is likely to be busy, at least it heralds the oncoming summer (complete with rain, useless cricket matches etc) and I suspect your reflecting prowess would be better deployed in a few weeks time rather than now.
Whatever you decide, check it against all known Doability tests before proceeding.
Meanwhile — good to have you whittering again.
Big decision, Janey - good that you gave yourself some time, and came up with a compromise, meanwhile.
It is so hard to make these kinds of decisions. But I have every faith that you'll figure it all out. And then some. xo
I'm with Aerin, and I'm glad you'll still be there on FB - what, after all, would I do without our games of Wordscraper!
Take the time you need to make the decisions - which will always be the right ones - and then remember, "what's the good of having a mind if you can't change it" - nothing is ever cast in concrete.
I've been at this same crossroads . . . it is very difficult to choose between the concrete giving of teaching (which is good and bad) and the pleasures/pains of writing and a more solitary life.
But no matter what, I'm going to look you up on Facebook! (Although I'm lousy at keeping up with it.)
"brain" is the word verification. just wanted you to know!
I have been there and recently. I'm way behind on reading my favorite blogs. I'm getting fairly frequent headaches. And right now, I'm sitting at home reading blogs when I'm supposed to be at work earning the mortgage. It's too much sometimes. I was whining to my wife the other day that I have no relaxation time. Sometimes I just need to whine, then get over it.
I love to write. It's my one constant passion in life. And getting published is a goal that's near and dear to my heart. But sometimes it's just too much and I need to chill.
Been reading more lately. Thirteenth Child by Patricia Wrede is quite interesting. The font size and age of the MC screams middle grade, but it's not quite really. I love her stuff. She has a very light style. I'm deep in the Inda series by Sherwood Smith. Talk about work, but so worth it. Very rich fantasy. Never thought I would read a book where the characters have 3 names each plus weird titles and there are 2 languages that they use. The beginning of Inda is still a bit of a blur for me, but I'm chomping at the bit to get the third book.
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