I went back to work on Monday after three weeks off. People keep asking "Are you better now?" and my answer is "Yeah - really well actually!" - like it's a surprise or something. It's great to feel well again.
And strangely that's probably the reason I haven't been about recently. Having got the energy back I've been missing for so long - the last thing I felt like doing was sitting for hours on end at the computer. I've been flitting about doing this and that, trying to catch up on all the stuff I let slide in the last month and I've been so chilled out you could keep your pint of milk fresh for a week by putting it down next to me.
Luckily I'd fulfilled my month's quota for Aerin's writing challenge weeks ago so I can relax there but I am living in fear of the Koala figuring out how remiss I've been at the Public Humiliation Challenge. Not a word for a fortnight. Nada. I feel those claws sharpening up. I hope my ducking reflexes are well tuned for when that swipe comes.
But you know what? I'm not in the least bit stressed about being wordless for weeks. Normally I wonder where my Muse has gone and I struggle with feelings of 'not quite being up to the job' but this time I feel different.
I had an epiphany. I epiph a lot. This one was so big I practically epiphed all over the place. These light bulb moments generally occur when I'm out walking the Pooch. I barrel along breathing in the country air - often talking to myself out loud. Yes I look like a crazy person but it's during these walks that I uncrazy myself. I've noticed that my energy levels are on the rise and I've also noticed (with considerable joy and satisfaction) that the Earth is Springing back to life. There's more light around, the air is less oppressive and I've ditched one layer of my winter coat. The shoots for the bluebells are through the ground and my garden is filled with snowdrops and crocuses. It won't be long till the daffodils bloom and my Magnolia tree blossoms. It's like the Earth is filled with potential energy and it's champing at the bit to be let loose but it's waiting for exactly the right time.
Like me. I'm bursting with ideas. I'm not in the slightest bit blocky but somewhere, instinctively, I know that the optimum conditions where my energy levels and creativity come together aren't quite here yet. But it's so close. Every morning I wake up and it's brighter and I feel even better.
If the rest of nature is utterly at the mercy of the seasons - then why not us? I was staring at the bluebell shoots when I had my epiphany. I thought about how it was this time last year when I really caught the bug for writing and I realised (DUH!) that my creativity waxes and wanes with the seasons. I'm totally and utterly a child of Nature.
My shoots are up.
I'm looking forward to seeing what flowers I produce this season.
15 comments:
I like to epiph, too. Does that surprise you? :) I love the way you equate your wellspring of energy and inspiration to the earth's renewal process.
Did you see the Horizon program on our body clock last night? It suggested that there is an optimum time for all activities - and that we get a much better performance/result when we are in tune with our body's natural rhythms. I have always had an enthusiasm/energy surge in spring . . . so I can relate! Bring on the green!
And last but not least, I'm glad that you are feeling more robust. (BTW, thanks for the fantastic feedback on my Slumdog and Revolutionary Road posts.)
Oh, I'm so glad you epiphed such a happy, interesting thing ; )
And I'm even happier that you are finally feeling better!
Glad you're feeling better! Boo sickiness :(
Janey you dear! I'm so glad you are feeling better. I'm with you on the seasons. I am so ready for Spring. Hopefully I have some pretty blossoms this year too:)
I'm so glad to hear you are back on your feet again!
Reading your post has renewed my energy too-- thanks! I am also governed by the seasonal changes. I've been cocooning for several weeks now (something we INFJs do when stressed or depressed) and I know it's my late winter lack of energy. But I am confident that my energy will pick up again. My high point tends to be in autumn, but those first warm breezes of spring are so invigorating!
:)
I epiph a lot. Love this.
And it's only right that you're an epipher in this way, as it was your fellow Irishman (well, you're not a man, but you're Irish, so, ya know) James Joyce who used that wonderful word in that wonderful way.
I love epiphing - the inner fizz happy shot of it is better than...uh...better than wine. That's it!
And I'm tickled for you that you feel so good!
That's a beautiful post.
But...go directly to High Threat and get some writing done this week or I'll be back...
I'm so glad you're feeling better. I'm enjoying the buds on the trees and the crocuses and the snowdrops. It really is a lovely time of year with all the promise of full spring and summer yet to come.
Glad to hear of your epiphulations.
After all the snow we've had, it's suddenly springing on us, isn't it — this spring business?
Looks like I'll have to prepare myself once agin for going completely doolalley.
Bee - Nope - no surprises there at all!! ;0) After I read your comment last night I went to the BBC iPlayer and watched that Horizon program. My broadband was playing sillybuggers so it took a while but it was well worth it. It completely bears out what I've been saying all my adult life, which is modern Western culture requires us to completely ignore our own biology. As of tomorrow I am instigating a 20 minute power nap at about 1.30. I always want to nod off then but I fight it. No more I tell you. I will listen intently to my circadian rhythm and obey it's every whim (within reason!!)
I loved your Slumdog and Revolutionary Road posts. You do such thoughtful reviews - and much better than most I've read. Long may they continue.
Kiersten - Epiphing is spiffing! I'm feeling positively giddy these days. Man I love the Spring!
Sara - I'll take your boo and raise it with my hiss! No fun at all. On the upside I had plenty of time to myself and being forced to chill out is quite a good thing really. So - yeay for time off work!
Natalie - Going on past harvests, I imagine you'll be engulfed in beautiful and fragrant blossoms. You're a fabulous 'gardener'.
Yes Aine - on my feet and upright. Glad to have given you a lift. Cocooning is a wonderful word - so much better than hibernating which is the one I use a lot to describe how I feel in winter. It's not so much depression though, as a natural lull in energy. This is the first Winter in six years that I have had to keep to an imposed schedule (as I work for a school instead of myself) and I'm sure that's why I've been so below par. I'm definitely going to pay greater respect to my inner rhythms in future. I can't very well go wasting an epiphany, now can I?
I adore autumn too. I feel my energy is more evenly matched the equinoxes. Perhaps I just crave balance. Is that an INFJ thing too?
Robin - in the spirit of good epiphing, I tend to find I epiph even more frequently when wine is involved. Remembering them the next day is the tricky part.
Thank you McK. The threat level has been changed to DefCon 2. I'll try write something to avoid going the whole way to 1. Honest.....
FairyHH - it's really lovely right now isn't it? I'm so over winter. Bring on new life I say. I'm starting to really understand all those pagan spring festivals now. Although I'm not quite ready for running naked through the forest blessing the buds. But hey - I'm not discounting it!
Whirl - I passed my first (of the season) field of gamboling lambs today. Give it another couple of weeks and the bunnies will be at it too. I love a bit of doolally. Completely doolally is even better.
Oh man, so good that you're on the up! Great to hear it, Janey!
And as for the muse and writing - you're spot on - we flow with the seasons. I realised the other day that my creativity surges forth in February - I have no idea why, given it's the end of summer but I likened it to harvest time and the time when all the ideas are ripe. Also tanked up on summer sun, I think it's the time of year that I feel, well, full and so it's time to let the words flow.
Hope you go from strength to strength! xxx
PS we should go for a walk together and talk to ourselves - now that could be really interesting,,,
Definitely feeling "on the up" AV dear. And we should go for a walk when you come over and talk to ourselves. That said I bet we'd be too busy nattering to each other for our Muses to get a word in!
As I mentioned in the comment to Aine I think that my energy levels are best around spring and autumn. I love what you said about being "ripe"!! My theory is that the light is right at that time of year. Although there's plenty about in summer, I find the temperature to hot so I stick to the shade. Darn celtic skin! Whatever you're currently percolating, I hope you're having fun!
Going to throw in my belated "hurray!" that you are feeling better. I think spring has a way of making everyone feel more fresh and alive! :)
Oh, and I guess you'd better do some writing because that Koala threat level looks pretty scary. ;)
I'm not seeing any word flowers...
Good for you! And so happy to hear you are sprouting out new shoots!
Ok - not good with the gardening similes....
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