On Tuesday it was Small Son's birthday. He was 5. Or, as we've been calling it for six months now, Big 5! The Hubby, unfortunately, was away in Amsterdam (and not a single tulip did he return with - but I digress…) at a big Broadcasting Industry Exhibition. So, groggy and tealess (tea-making would be Hubby's function in these early morning proceedings) at 6.30 am we had the big opening of presents. We're of the "why wait when there's toys to be played with" club - delayed gratification is the enemy of spontaneity! Five minutes and several feet deep in moulded plastic, wrapping paper and cardboard boxes later, there was a dogfight going on between Darth Vader's TIE Fighter and Obi-Wan Kenobi's Starfighter. The Indiana Jones Mr. Potato Head (Taters of the Lost Ark - I kid you not) had already lost his facial features, the big shiny Dalek wasn't moving because Silly Mama forgot to get batteries and the dog was licking me in a desperate attempt to force me into taking her for a walk. It worked. Sort of. I had to be back before Big Son needed to leave for his bus so actually it was the time that did it. I dragged my sorry ass into my walking boots and went to the park to play fetch for a half hour. When I returned Star Wars IV was still being re-enacted, Big Son and Daughter were nearly ready to go but the Big 5 guy wasn't showing any interest in breakfast or getting dressed. That said, he was hyper-excited about going to school. Scoffing down his cereal he asked if he could wear his badges. So 10 minutes later, after brushing teeth and combing hair we attached a massive "BIRTHDAY BOY" badge onto the front of his school sweatshirt and another that for some reason said "HARRY POTTER" (must be Happy Birthday in Wizard). We took two packets of cakes and small pack of sweeties for everyone in his class (these are given going home when parents are present) with us and off we set for school. Small Son practically ran the whole way. Birthdays are SOOOO exciting!
I had a quick word with his teacher in the playground, telling her that Daddy was away and we were saving the birthday cake till tomorrow when he returned - so if she could make it a special day for him I'd be really grateful. She's so lovely, his teacher - they had a little birthday snack-time, sang to him, gave him a birthday sticker and just made him feel so special. I love that school!
Before all that though, we were standing in line in the playground when one of Small Son's younger classmates came up and looking at his badge covered sweatshirt said:
"What are them badges?"
"Oh they're birthday badges - Small Son is 5 today."
"5? … Already?"
Let me explain that the school year groups are sorted from children born Sept 1st - August 31st. Therefore with a birthday on September 16th, Small Son is actually one of the oldest in his class. The boy he was talking to wouldn't be five till next April.
"That's right," said Small Son, "I am Big and 5 today!"
"Well I'm bigger than you."
Small Son looked up at me a bit confused. He knew about one other boy who was older than him but it wasn't this guy. "Is he?" he asked.
"Well… no actually" (I was trying to be tactful - boys are a bit funny about how big they are and challenges to said "bigness" and I didn't want any negativity ruining Small Son's day) - "You're still 4." Then smiling I added, "you'll be five next year!"
"No I won't I will be six and then I will be bigger than you."
"I think that you have to be five first before six … I'm pretty sure that's how it works."
"Not me!" he declared, "I'm not going to be five. I'm going straight to six - I've decided!"
You see I always knew identity was a matter of choice. You've got to admire someone who will not be defeated by a simple matter of chronology.
Of course I bent down and whispered in Small Son's ear that his mate was totally off his rocker. Bonkers in fact! They both seemed satisfied as they toodled off into class and a great day was had by all!
22 comments:
That is awesome. The big 5.
I used to want to skip years, now I wish I could slow them down. Heh.
Well, if this is the case, I've just decided it's next week. I'm tired of this one.
But then again, I'm totally bonkers ; )
You sound like such a fun mom, Janey.
Natalie - apparently if you follow this kid's logic all you have to do is decide! I'm trying to figure out what age I want to be in November…I liked my early 30's!
Kiersten - LOL I think that you have totally got this concept. Not only am I planning on being 31 or 32 on my next birthday, I also have decided that I am going to be able to tan and I'm considering changing the colour of my hair (although to be fair - I already do that!)!
I'll settle for being Darth Vader. Imagine going shopping at Sainsburys in that helmet.
'W..would you like cashback, sir?'
'No thanks. I'll just take the store.'
or
'Do you take switch?'
'Yes.'
(Produces lightsabre)
'What about SWOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHH?'
or
'What do you mean, you don't sell chocolate hob-nobs? I fall into a pit of lava, lose my arms and legs and have to endure painful reconstructive surgery for this?
or
'Yeah, I know it says Dave Prowse on the cheque but...'
Oh nice save there, Jane!
I presume you also go through the "How ald are you?" routine? I'm 5 and a quarter. I'm 5 and a half, I'm 5 and three quarters...
And I have to say, I'm inclined to side with him who will be 6. I also don't believe in being challenged by chronology. To the best of my knowledge I've been 28 for so very many years that I've lost count!
Brilliant post!
Whirl - Thank you for making me laugh out loud before breakfast!! I have to tell you though that I have gone to many shops with Small Son dressed as Darth Vadar. For a year that's how he dressed for Nursery. His outfit even had a button on the front that did the heavy breathing. Not once did I get preferential treatment as the mother of the most evil Sith in the Galaxy. There's no justice!
AV - I love it when they become Fractionally competitive - "Yeah well …I'm 5 and a half AND three quarters!"
28 eh? - that must be your secret to looking so good. I'm considering telling people I'm two stones lighter than the weighing scales keeps telling me I am. I expect to drop two dress sizes in a jiffy!
Ha! Handled like a professional mom! This post is delightful.
Maybe "Big 5" can put a spell on the other boy's birthday badge when it's his birthday. He could change it to "Big Head Boy" just like Percy Weasley's... :D
I love how at that age they do get caught up in "bigger than" vs "older than" issues. And I want to choose my age too! I like that idea!
:)
I am certainly NOT skipping any years! No need to rush things anymore. :)
delayed gratification is the enemy of spontaneity!
I bet your household is a happy one, Janey! Wish we were neighbors.
Aine - those Weasley twins knew a thing or two about deflating egos didn't they? "Big Head Boy" LOL!
Barrie - No indeed- I'm not skipping any out but choosing the optimum age might be a boon! I hope that you had a lovely summer in Canada. I suppose from here on in it's getting ready for the big launch in December. You must be so excited. Love the new avatar too.
Robin - we are a happy bunch indeed although that particular phrase does regularly come back to bite me in the bum and frequently gets replace with
"Save something for later!
Oh and I'd love to have you as a neighbour too!
There you go, that's my girl, the power of positive thinking! ;-)
LMAO!
A hearty Happy Birthday to your Big Five boy! Funny how quickly they learn the desire to be Big. :)
And if identity is a matter of choice, then I choose to be Angelina Jolie, okay? Thanks!
Precie - I know she's stunningly beautiful, talented, a multi-millionaire and OK, she may be sleeping with Brad Pitt 'n' all, but she still has 6 kids under the age of 7!!!!!
Do you still want to be her really?
LOL! I'm assuming the multi-millions and participating father/husband help to alleviate that 6-child stress level. If not, what the heck are millions good for?
I bet she's still knackered with sore nimples though!
Still in the grand scheme of things that phase doesn't last or long does it?
You may be on to something…
I'd like to be sleeping with Brad Pitt! hehe And with all her millions, she can hire help for those children! I have that many in my house every day and am still sane. MUUAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
About that identity thing... now that I've seen your blog, I have to go and find a newER wallpaper for mine. ::sigh:: I like having my own identity. ;) Cool though, isn't it?
Hey NS - Welcome to Whittersville. You seem perfectly sane to me! I work with 16 4-5 year-olds so I guess that 6 littlies wouldn't be that bad if you had an army of helpers. And she's 10 years younger than me too (which y'know, is a +).
But I don't know, I think one or two of those little tikes is going to get lost in the crush. My Mummy Radar would be on high alert all the time. But of course that's my constantly-broke-needs-to-do-everything-myself Mummy Radar. Perhaps my Filthy Rich Mummy Radar would be way more chilled out.
Nah! You know what! She can keep Brad - I really like being ME!
Hi Janeyv! I like your blog. The template is really pretty.
Also, this post made me laugh. I loved the picture you created of Small Son's birthday. It harkened visions of my birthdays growing up, always fun and chaos. :)
CAn I do that backwards? Next year, I would like to go straight back to 35. That was a good year for me! My youngest will be turning 5 in December! I have to say I love this age!
What great scene-re-creation!! It's so very true how boys are competitive at that age. Mine, at seven, has grown a bit more sophisticated. His classmates can be quite brazen though. One particular girl walked right up to me and asked (as if Plato weren't standing right there), "Why does Plato wear glasses?" I replied that he needed them to help his eyes see things clearly. She replied haughtily, "Well! None of the other kids has anything wrong with THEIR eyes!"
Ugh. Monsters. All but mine!! =)
Hi Renee - thanks for visiting. I'm trying not to be too hi-tech with birthdays - or before you know it you've hired a children's entertainer and they forget to tell you they wear a clown's outfit. You only make that mistake once. Brrrrr! I really hate clowns.
The party is Saturday. I keep repeating to myself "It's only two hours -It's only two hours.…"
Ello - I agree!! I love this age Small Son is at now. That 3-5 age is my favourite. And as for our age - well if you want to be 35 then by all means go for it. I really liked my early thirties too!
MIS - what a horror! I'd have told her Plato wore glasses to give him super-powers and only the very best kids got them. I'm not nearly so tolerant of total brats as I am of little boys with "big" complexes.
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